Testimony of E Christian Grossman

My Testimony - E. Christian Grossman

Before receiving Christ as my personal savior, I was living according to the truth - The truth, the laws and the regulations as they were presented to me by man. I was living my life within guidelines that are legalistic and in many cases immoral, corrupt or at the least, questionable. The world I was living in was a world full of fear, confusion, suspicion and hostility. My life, as a result of living within the bounds of what men deem as being sensible, acceptable or reasonable was too often consumed with feelings of disappointment, disillusion and hopelessness. Unfortunately, that same world exists today just as it did on Feb. 28, 2006 when I met with Pastor Scott Harris for the first time.

What motivated me to come to Grace Bible Church was the need to know and then live by what the truth really is. I had always perceived myself as one having a good sense of right and wrong, and had always believed in Christ, but I never had the true relationship with Him that He intended me to have.

I first received Christ as my savior on Mar. 9, 2006 when I met with Pastor Elias Carrero and Brad Rawlins at Perkins restaurant in Wappingers Falls. We read the sinners prayer and read from the books of John, Romans, Ephesians and others. I learned that day that my salvation was secured for me through the great sacrifice that Christ made when He died on the cross for my sins and that my faith in the fact that He is the Son of God is testimony that I will be granted eternal life.

It all seemed so simple at the time that deep down inside I was asking myself, "How can this be?" On April 5, 2006 I began my discipleship with Doug Welch and began a journey where I would learn many things, one of them being that the Christian life really is simple, yet it is so difficult that no one can live it! The only one who can live it is Christ, and He desires to live it within me.

My life did begin to change after I received Christ, but it did not change as I had anticipated. My life actually became more difficult as I struggled to live as a Christian in a world where it is extremely easy not to. It wasn't until the latter part of my discipleship that I was beginning to grasp the fact that I am not in this alone and that the Christ-directed life is just what it implies. It's directed by Christ and I am not Him.

I attributed my failure of not having a true understanding of the gift of eternal life to my many years of having been a Catholic and having it ingrained in me that I needed to earn the right to enter into God's kingdom. However, at this point in my discipleship it had been clearly brought to my attention that only through God's love was Christ sent here to die for my sins, and that only through the shedding of His blood have I been forgiven my sins. Only through faith in Christ as my savior may I have the eternal life that is granted by the grace of God. My failure in truly understanding and accepting the gift of eternal life would have been more accurately attributed to my own personal pride and stubbornness. These simple truths were reiterated in Pastor Harris' sermon on August 20, 2006 when he clearly stated that this great gift that God has for us is both unearned and undeserved. Sometimes I still have a hard time accepting this, but I'm gradually learning how to turn over the reins and am growing in my ability to understand and be truly thankful for what He has done for me. A few verses that helped me along are Romans 10:9, "that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and you believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved," and Ephesians 2:8,9, "For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast."

I'm learning to accept the fact that in order to live as a true Christian there cannot be the two of us in control, and I've already tried the "I'm in control" approach. I'm beginning to recognize that to abide in Christ I must live in dependence on Him and that it is His wisdom, strength, ability and courage operating through me that enable me to live according to His will. Christ does want not me to live the Christian life apart from him. He wants to live it through me.

Since becoming a Christian I have developed a greater personal awareness of God and have a greater sense of how valuable human lives really are. I look at the world through a different set of eyes and no longer worry as much about the things in the world that I cannot control. My relationships with others I view differently, and although not all of them have changed, some have. A good friend of mine has recently returned to church and I sincerely believe that he is well on his way to receiving Christ as his personal savior. He confided in me that my previous words of encouragement had prompted him to return and he thanked me for them. I was thankful to the Lord for that.

I understand that becoming a mature Christian doesn't happen overnight. My walk with Christ will take me there from where I am today. I understand that I will never be perfect, that I will always fall short of the glory of God and I will never be able to lay claim to the fact that I am not a sinner. I will always need the support and encouragement from my fellow believers.

It is my sincere desire to be baptized as the Scripture commands me, that I may show my faith and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ as my savior and to begin a new walk in a new life for the righteousness of God.