This testimony was presented by Bob Jordan at the Men’s Prayer Breakfast in
September.
When I was asked to speak today, my first reaction was trepidation, there was
a certain level of privacy that I was not sure I wished to part with. But after
asking God I was reminded that he had brought me to this place in my life, and
it was his desire that I share my story today. I trust the Lord will use these
words to His glory.
My earliest recollections revolved around the church. I was born into a
spiritual family and began a journey with the Lord that in retrospect affirms
that God’s grace is too great to be fathomed by human efforts. During those
formative years, my parents diligently laid the foundations for a Godly life. I
was seen as a good kid with a bright future. Their future and my future however
were vastly different. As a preteen I was questioning the need for Godly
standards and I began to drift. By 18 a full scale rebellion against God was
brewing in my soul. It was my life and it would be lived my way as far from God
as I could muster. Realizing the path I was on, my father told me words that
would later haunt me, he told me that "You can walk away and reject God, but he
will bring you back, and God’s correction will be exacting and severe." He also
told me that he would never stop praying for me and hoped that God’s
intervention would not be necessary.
My lifestyle embraced the world and rejected the faith I knew. Soon I was
working in the Rock and Roll concert business, completely submerging myself in
the lifestyle. The days became weeks, the weeks months, the months years, and
the years a decade, the decade became a fog. It was a segment of life that had
no anchor, no bearings, only consequences. Consequences that to this day remain
a thorn to act as a reminder of our weakness and God’s redemptive strength.
Ironically, I was placed in a position to work a series of shows for a local
campus Christian ministry headed by a Dallas Theological Seminary student named
Gary Hutchinson. At our first meeting there was eye contact that left me very
unsettled. I knew God was involved and I had the audacity to dare him to
interfere with my life. Regardless of my present situation God was still
orchestrating my future.
On November 25, 1986 came Strike 1. God responded precisely and with exacting
force. I was shown that God can and will work in any environment. I was put into
a place where I could do nothing but helplessly wonder what God was going to do
next. I had lost complete control of my life and it was now in someone else’s
hands. I learned a lesson about how pure and perfect His actions are. There are
no words to describe His wrath. A half-hearted effort to seek God followed, but
I soon ran out of effort. The next few years centered on the hypocrisy of a
religious facade with a worldly life. There was no substance to the religiosity
that was portrayed.
Fast forward to December, early 1990’s for Strike 2. While strike 1 was
mental, strike 2 was physical. A seemingly freak accident that would alter every
step for the rest of my life. I now began to wonder about Strike 3.
Concurrently, my parents were involved with decisions to be made regarding a new
church they were attending. The church was pastored by a Dallas Theological
Seminary graduate named Gary Hutchinson. I knew God was in control.
Deep down I knew that Gary would make the connection between my parents and
myself and the inevitable phone call would come. We met for lunch and Gary
challenged me to give God six weeks, that’s all he asked. I agreed, but I wanted
to suit the deal to me and told him I would pick the time. I was weakening.
Shortly after this luncheon I was on a business trip and the flight attendant
was an ex girlfriend who had recently been saved as was attending a new church
pastored by a Dallas Theological Seminary graduate named – Gary Hutchinson. Over
the next couple of months we talked about control, who is in control and I was
challenged to allow God into my life.
The final straw came when my parents called to tell me they would be leaving
the church. There was no new destination, just that God had called them out of
the church. They didn’t know why but would obey. I immediately knew why. They
were my crutch, and I could attend church to see them, to be a good son, to do a
good deed. God did not have to be the compelling reason to attend. When the day
arrived for them to leave the church, I attended the service, and when they were
recognized for their participation in the growth of the church and covered with
prayer for their journey ahead, there were many tears, mainly mine. As I watched
them say their good-bye’s I was overcome with the grief of realizing that they
would again be sacrificing because of their son’s selfishness and refusal to do
what he knew was right.
I was now broken. God had brought me to a place where I had seen His glory,
His wrath, and the consequences of my actions. I had no challenge left even if I
had wanted to.
There was no overnight or miraculous recovery. One layer at a time the past
was removed and forgiveness accepted. As the sins were uncovered and the guilt
processed, the dark closets and hallways that was my legacy were opened and
cleaned. I listened to my father, both Heavenly and earthly. I followed their
examples and I learned to pray. I began to look forward to the future. I asked
my parents and other individuals for forgiveness for the misery I had inflicted
upon them.
Every step of the way Satan fought it. He had woven quite a thread into my
life and his work was being unraveled. He could dig up whatever he wanted, but I
had learned to pray. It was all I had to fight with and my fathers taught me
well.
As I began to grow with the Lord and develop a relationship with Jesus, other
aspects of my life began to flourish; a new job, new friends and a new purpose.
Also, a tall beautiful blonde named Karyn whom God would allow me to share my
life with.
In the early summer of 1994, in what was the most rewarding day of my life in
my relationship with my parents, I was baptized by my father. In July of 1994,
Karyn and I were married by Gary and we were led to attend Valley View where
Karyn was already attending.
While stories of prodigal sons are a part of the fabric of Christian life, I
really want to impress the importance of the act of redemption that accompanies
each story. In my instance I know that I was covered by prayer every day, and
still am. In all those years my parents prayed for me every day, no matter the
anguish, the hurt, the betrayal, they prayed. I knew God was going to act. I
knew they were praying. If there is nothing else that comes from my story, pray
for your children, Satan is as a hungry lion waiting to devour, so you have to
pray for them. Cover their very action and breath with prayer – and teach them
to pray.
What have I learned? I have felt God’s anger and His joy. Why he brought me
out of it I don’t know, but I want to give Him back His due. I still struggle
with control and being forgiven, but I have learned that His grace is more than
sufficient. I have also learned that compared to Him not much in life really
matters. Our relationship with Him is all that we need or should care to want.
Everything else is secondary. He requires of us a passion that is equal to His
passion for us.
I am still seeking His heart. Sometimes I get so close I can’t stop the
tears. Sometimes I search in vain. I still sin and do stupid things, but I want
to get next to Him. I want my wife and children to be in a relationship with God
that their hearts are joined in unison.
I have traveled a long road to get to this point, and I am a product of every
experience I lived. Maybe that is what drives me to see Him, that inexplicable
desire to get into Him and feel that passion that would compel Him to stick with
me. I know it is there – Grace personified. He showed me some along the way.
Remember, pray for your children, no matter what age, what circumstance, no
matter how disappointed. We cannot afford not to do so.
As I continue on the path God has prepared, I am truly blessed with a loving
and Godly wife and family. They are a part of God’s ongoing work in me and
crucial to my growth as I am in their growth. We are challenged every day to our
commitment to serve Him, and every day Joshua’s words are brought to bear . . .
then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve . . . As for me and my
house we will serve the Lord."
Some days are easier than others.