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Pastor Scott L. Harris
Grace Bible Church, NY
June 16, 2024
◘ Marriage: The Role of the Husband
Selected Scriptures
Introduction
Happy Father’s Day! Over the decades I have taken advantage of this cultural holiday to preach over a dozen different sermons related to being men in general and fathers in particular. (See: Father’s Day Sermons) This morning, as part of the sermon series on marriage, we are going to examine what the scriptures teach concerning the role of a husband, and that is contrary to both the more common ideas within our society that diminish the husband’s role and the minority view that makes him dictatorial. The man is to be neither a despot nor a wimp.
The following quips poke at the common views within our society. “My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don’t try to run her life, and I don’t try to run mine either” – Milton Berle. “The views expressed by the husband in this home are not necessarily that of the management” – John T. Dennis. “The husband that wants to keep his wife happy should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open” – Groucho Marx. “Watch the man who says he’s the boss at home. He may lie about other things too.” “Some girls can’t take a joke, but others prefer one to no husband at all.” A hen pecked husband in Illinois won’t even eat anything that disagrees with his wife.” “Technically, the husband is the head of the house, but the technicality is often overruled.”
◘ In a culture dominated by feminist philosophy, men are treated as the inferior who exists for the benefit of the female. Our educational system favors traits more characteristic of girls and women while discouraging or even penalizing traits more characteristic of boys and men which are referred to as “toxic masculinity.” This is a major reason that more women now attend college than men. By High School, many guys have given up trying and others figure out that academia is rigged against them, so they pursue something else. This is especially true of white males – who also now have the highest suicide rate. Women are having a hard time finding husbands that will be men instead of adult boys, and men are having a hard time finding wives that do not want to dominate. The entertainment industry often presents men as big boys out looking for a good time, or incompetent to carry out what needs to be done, or imbeciles incapable of coming up with a plan. The men are a “joke” and in need of some woman with superior abilities to guide them – or even to rescue them.
◘ The other extreme in which husbands think of their wives as inferior servants to them is just as bad because it is also contrary to what God actually commands. These are men that demand their wives obey them without question, cater to their whims, and treat them little better than slaves. Both the authoritarian and feminist approaches to the role of a husband are expressions of man’s sinful selfishness and rebellion against God’s design and commands.
◘Foundations
To understand the role God has given to husbands in marriage you have to go back to the foundations of God’s purpose in creating man. ◘Gentlemen, you cannot be a better husband than you are a man. To the degree that you fail to carry out God’s purposes for you as a man you will also fail as a husband. So though this is getting repetitious in this sermon series, it is critical that we go back again to the foundations of Genesis to understand God’s purposes for our lives.
◘ First, God created man in His own image for His own purposes. Man is not autonomous to decide for himself why he exists and then do what he wants. Ever since Adam’s fall into sin, man’s innate sin nature ensures that left to himself man will choose the wrong reasons for the purpose of his existence, and his desires will be contrary to God’s will. ◘That is why the natural man, those without Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, will both not understand and will reject God’s design for his life for it is foolishness to him. It is the spirit of God within the true Christian that enables him to understand and follow God’s purposes in his life (1 Corinthians 2:14-16).
◘ The starting point then is that God created man in His own image so that man would be a reflection of His own moral attributes. Sin has terribly corrupted that image, but even so, even the heathen can demonstrate aspects of a moral life though done with the wrong motivations. ◘An unsaved husband can sacrificially love and be kind to his wife, provide for her, protect her, and avoid physical adultery. Even so, it is only the Christian husband that can do those things as he is conformed into the image of Christ with the proper motivation of both glorifying God in his marriage and doing so for his wife’s best interest without a taint of selfishness.
◘ It is for that reason that I make the same call to all that Jesus did in Matthew 4:17 that you repent. Change your mind about both your sinfulness and the Savior. Pursue the righteousness that can only come through faith in the person and work of the Lord Jesus Christ. You cannot earn you way into heaven for as Psalm 14 and Romans 3 both proclaim, there is none righteous, none who seek after God, none who do good. Isaiah 64:6 adds that all our righteous deeds are as filthy rags before our holy Creator. As Ephesians 2:8-9 explains, salvation from sin only comes by God’s grace through faith in Jesus Christ, the second person of the triune Godhead who took on human flesh, lived a sinless life, voluntarily died on the cross of Calvary as the price for man’s sin bringing atonement that offers forgiveness on the simple basis of faith in Jesus’ claims and promises which were proven to be true by His resurrection from the dead. Romans 4 explains that God justifies the sinner on the basis of faith reckoning it to be righteousness. The Holy Spirit then indwells the believer to teach, guide, and empower to live an increasingly holy life. This is the process of sanctification which enables the life of the believer to better reflect the image of God.
◘ The second purpose in God creating man was for him to be God’s regent on earth by subduing it and having dominion over the animals. History has proven that sinful man does an appalling job of this by too often foolishly exploiting the earth and abusing the animals. It is only when man understands that God has made him a steward of the earth and animals and He will hold him accountable for that stewardship that man will properly use and care for creation. While it exists in part for man’s benefit, it is only by following God’s commands concerning this stewardship that we avoid the foolish and selfish exploitation of the earth and its resources or the idolatry of worshiping it.
◘ Related to this is God’s specific calling upon your life which will be discovered by the particular talents and abilities He entrusts to you and His providence in the particular circumstances in which He places you. You will have to work to develop your talents and abilities and it will take effort to make the most of whatever your situation may be, but God’s hand is also at work in these. ◘The Christian has an additional calling from God as explained in 1 Corinthians 12 to use whatever spiritual gift, ministry and empowerment He has given you for His glory and the common good of the whole body of Christ, the church.
◘ God established marriage giving man a “helper suitable” that would enable him to carry out God’s mandates including being “fruitful and multiply and fill the earth.” The role of the husband begins here. Men cannot carry out the stewardship God entrusted to him without women. The man leaves his mother and father and takes a wife forming a new family unit which then in unity carries out God’s commands.
◘ I will add here that though not every man will be married, that is what is to be normal. Jesus commented on this in Matthew 19:10-12. After explaining God’s commands concerning marriage, divorce and adultery, the disciples commented, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.” Such was the wrong understanding of marriage taught by their culture. Jesus then went on to explain, “Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 “For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it.” So while there are legitimate reasons a man may stay single, God’s design is that it is to be normal for men to get married.
◘ The current low rate of marriage and long delay for a first marriage is the evidence there are a lot of illegitimate reasons at play in our society. I will expand on this in a future sermon, but for today I will issue this simple advice and challenge. Men, there are a lot more women who are striving for godliness than there are men striving for the same, so it should not be hard for you to find one waiting for you to take interest and act. Don’t fall for the values of our culture for those will make you ungodly and lead you to an ungodly woman and will make both of you miserable. It will be like two ticks looking for a dog to feed on, but there is no dog. ◘Strive for godliness in your own life and look for a woman striving for the same for then Proverbs 18:22 will apply to you, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing And obtains favor from the Lord.” And men, you need to take the lead in this and you need to know where you want to go. A godly woman will not agree to follow a man who is clueless about where he is heading.
◘Construction
Those are the foundations of being a man upon which the husband is to build. Strive to be a fitting reflection of the image of God in your life. Seek to fulfill God’s calling upon your life in both the general dominion mandate and the specific career and ministry He entrusts to you. Find a godly woman that will help you in those endeavors. ◘ You now build walls on those foundations by fulfilling the basic responsibilities God has given to men – lead, provide & protect.
◘ One of my favorite books explaining the roles God has given to men is Tender Warrior by Stu Webber. He is a man writing to men using lots of illustrations from football, hunting, and being an army ranger. He writes in a succinct style with short, pithy observations and statements. Men like to get to the point without a lot of fluff. One of his early chapters is on the man being a “provisionary” upon which he expands in later chapters. He is the scout looking ahead to find the best route to take that will provide what is needed for his family. That includes necessities such as food, water and shelter / safety, but it is also on the path going to the right place to which he is leading them. Webber also presents what he refers to as the four pillars of manhood: being a king, a warrior, a mentor and a friend. Those speak of the four walls and roof of the house – provide, protect, lead & teach, and companionship.
◘ The first wall is provide. A man is to provide for his family. 1 Timothy 5:8 is quite direct: “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” Joseph did this for his extended family though his brothers had sold him into slavery (Gen. 50:20). All the pronouns in this verse are masculine including “anyone.” Does this mean the man must be the only source of income? Of course not. The example of Proverbs 31 shows that to be false. That amazing woman figured out how to care of her family and provide several different income streams into the household. However, this does mean the responsibility rests on the man to make sure his immediate and extended family are provided for since the context of this passage is providing for widows. Men are to be diligent to work to the best of their ability. A lazy man is an ungodly man and will be a bad husband.
◘ But two strong warnings must be placed here. First, too many men, even Christian men, think it is enough for them to go to work and bring home a paycheck. That is only one aspect of the multiple responsibilities God has placed upon men. Men, providing the physical necessities of life for your family is not enough, you must also construct the other walls of the home already mentioned we will examine in a few minutes – lead, protect, teach and be a companion.
◘ Second, while there are situations in which the wife / mother may need to work outside the home, examine the motivations very carefully. We live in a materialistic society, and if the reason is related to having a greater income stream so you can live a more affluent lifestyle, then you are already in danger. If it causes the home to be neglected, you are even in greater trouble because you are going to fail at the primary responsibilities God has given to you.
◘ The next wall is lead. This is part of the husband being designated by God as the head of the wife in both Ephesians 5:23 and 1 Corinthians 11:3. ◘The husband is to know where he is going and be looking ahead to take his family there. I was taught in gymnastics in college that where the head goes, the body will follow. Where the husband goes, the wife should follow provided he is not leading her to anything ungodly because her submission is first and foremost to God and then to her husband. Men, do you know where you are going? What is the purpose of your life and how are you going about to fulfill it? If you don’t know where you are headed, then your wife is left in the very insecure position of now knowing where you are taking her which in turn makes it very difficult for her to encourage you in it. Take the time to share with her your hopes, dreams and goals so that she may be a willing and enthusiastic companion in the journey instead of a reluctant partner being dragged along.
◘ And take note that leading is not driving. As you blaze the trail, she follows behind in your path. She is not to be in the front with you calling our directions from behind. The husband is in the position of “point” as described in a military patrol. He is setting the path and on alert for any danger to himself and those following him. The wife follows because her husband is guiding her to the proper destination and it is the safe position to be in. That brings up the next wall.
◘ The husband is to be her protector. The Lord is ultimately the one that protects for as Psalm 127:1 states, “unless Yahweh guards the city, the watchman keeps awake in vain.” Yet, the watchmen and guards must still be on duty, and the husband is still to protect his family as a shepherd does his sheep while trusting the Lord. David praised God for strengthening him for battle against his enemies (2 Sam. 22:40; Psalm 18:39). ◘Men need to be strong and courageous to place themselves at risk to protect their families, but beyond just defending them physically, there must also be spiritual protection.
Just as elders are to refute those that contradict God’s word (Titus 1;9) and guard the church against wolves that would seek to draw away disciples after themselves (Acts 20:28-30), ◘so a husband must protect his family from ungodly influences that would lead them astray. You need to be aware of what your wife and children are reading, watching, listening to and the friends they keep. If any of these are ungodly, then you must strengthen this wall to keep out that influence. That may include blocking software on electronic devices, restricting their usage or taking them away. It may mean you intervene to end friendships. Sure, she or the children may protest, but you will answer to God for how you fulfilled this responsibility. If you are accused of not trusting them, then be forthright. ◘ First, you are following Romans 16:19 in helping them to be wise in what is good and innocent in what is evil. You are protecting them from having to bear the burden of the knowledge of and interacting with evil. Second, you do not trust the evil influences to remain at levels which they can handle. Greater freedom comes with greater trust and that has to be earned. How is trust earned? By learning and putting into practice what is learned which is the fourth wall of this house.
◘ Related to the husband being the head is his responsibility to teach his wife and children so that they can follow his lead, continue on the proper path, and stand firm when attacked even if he is not present. This is both in practical and spiritual matters. He may not reach the level of an elder who is apt to teach and able to exhort in sound doctrine, ◘yet he is still to be a mentor by teaching and example. Part of that example is to seek to learn and grow himself for no man knows all things, and there is much he may learn from his wife or even from his children. ◘As part of managing his own household, which is a mark of spiritual maturity, he will direct his family to learn what needs to be learned including finding someone to teach him and them what is needed if he cannot do it himself.
◘ The roof of this house is companionship which I talked about quite a bit last week since the woman was formed out of the man’s rib to be his companion. The husband and wife relationship is to be reciprocal. As I stated last week, they should be best friends with each other in the deepest, most intimate relationship possible among humans. That will include the physical relationship, but more important will be the ability to share thoughts, emotions, hopes and dreams. To have someone that will encourage you when are down, rejoice with you when you are up, lovingly correct you when you are wrong, and forgive you when you sin. To have someone that will implement all of the one another commands with you. ◘Your spouse should be your best ally in learning to walk with Christ in holiness. A Christian marriage is to be both a training ground in and the expression of a holy life.
◘ The roof covers all four walls. The companionship is a motivation and makes it easier for the man to build all four of these walls in the marriage. Their relationship motivates him to provide and her to help however she can within God’s priorities for her. He desires to protect her and she thrives under it. He willingly takes on the responsibility to lead and teach because he wants the marriage and family to reach the proper destination and thrive in the process. They share the mutual goal of maturity as individuals and as a couple so they can be humble and risk being vulnerable with one another.
◘Improvement
With the foundation being laid and the structure of the house built, the couple works on all the improvements that make a house a home. God gives specific commands to the husband concerning this. These improvements create a stronger tie into the foundation while strengthening the structure of the house. These improvements are love, understanding, humility, and selflessness. They also adorn the house as something beautiful that reflects God at work.
◘ Paul makes two commands concerning husbands in Colossians 3:19 that are contrasting and all encompassing. “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be embittered against them.” (See: The Role of the Husband – Col. 3:19). If the husband will do these two things, then the commands to the wife to submit herself to him will be easy for her to fulfill. ◘However, fighting against this happening is the curse of sin. Humans are innately selfish so instead of giving of themselves freely, they seek to get from the other what they want. It has generally been observed that women want to be loved and men want to be respected, and that true love leads to respect and respect leads to love. Tragically, like two leeches, the couple seek to gain life from the other but only manage to suck the life out of the marriage leaving a shell of what could and should have been, for true love cannot be gained by manipulation and genuine respect cannot be gained through oppression. However, when a husband and wife set aside their old sinful ways and walk in the newness of life that comes with following Christ, then there is a basis for each to fulfill their God given roles within the marriage and God can be glorified in and through them. I cannot stress enough to you husbands that you must walk with Christ if you are to fulfill your role in your marriage.
◘ The love commanded here is ajgapavw /agapaô, the love that arises from the will and sacrifices itself for the best interest of the one loved. Paul gives further explanation of this in Ephesians 5. In verses 28-30 he commands and explains with two examples, “So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one every hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church because we are members of His body.” ◘ The first example is pragmatic for loving her with the same consideration he gives to his own body is like loving himself for she becomes one with him in marriage. No one hates their own flesh but instead treats it with the utmost care spending time and money to do all the things that are part of caring for the body – feed it, clean it, exercise it, health care for it, make it look good and pamper it to make it comfortable. Husband, do you give that kind of consideration to your wife? With exceptions for women that are especially selfish, a man who treats his wife this way will find she will respond and also treat him well.
◘ The second example is harder for Christ is the model and His care for the church is complete and sacrificial. His care for the church is actually better than our care for our own bodies because He does know what is best while we guess at that. Yet that is still the example set for a husband to follow in loving his wife. Paul’s previous command in verses 25 -27 is even more direct and explicit in this. 25 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her . . .” That is complete sacrifice. Until you have died in the place of your wife, you have not loved her to this extent. That means that every husband here today still has room to grow in his love for his wife. ◘But I want you to carefully note the reason for Christ’s sacrifice in verses 26-27, “26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.” You are not sacrificing yourself for her whims, wishes or pleasures. That would be very ungodly since it would just feed her natural human selfishness. You sacrifice yourself in the effort to bring her into greater holiness for the goal of the Christian life is be like Christ – conformed into His image. The godly husband provides so that his wife has time to draw closer to the Lord. He protects her from ungodly influences. He leads her in the ways of the Lord teaching her about Him and His will. He is a faithful companion to her so that they walk the road of holiness together. (See: God’s Design for the Family: The Husband, Eph. 5:22-33) ◘All of that takes love, selflessness and humility because it is putting her best interests above your own even as all Christians are commanded to do for one another in Philippians 2:3-4. “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.”
◘ The command in the second half of Colossians 3:19 to husbands to not be embittered against their wives is the flip side of the coin in the command to sacrificially love her. Love is the positive to do and be embittered, pikraivnw/ pikrainô, is the negative to avoid. It has a root meaning of to cut, prick due to something sharp. It is used metaphorically in reference to attitudes that are bitter, sharp, harsh, angry, jealous which are all emotional reactions of selfishness when you do not get what you want. ◘Bitterness easily rises where there is failure to love sacrificially. It can be a quick and brief reaction or it can fester and burn slowly over a long time – a root of bitterness (Heb. 12:15). ◘Wives, you can moderate this by your chaste and respectful behavior even when he is disobedient to God (1 Peter 3:1-2). Husbands, you can avoid it in yourself by loving her as Christ loves the church which will also help her to avoid it in her own life by encouraging her to do what is right before the Lord. It is much easier for a woman that knows her husband sacrificially loves her to submit to his leadership and show him respect.
◘ The final command to husbands I will look at today that will strengthen the marriage is in 1 Peter 3:7. “You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman’ and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” An “understanding way” is literally, “according to knowledge.” Your wife is to be your life study. Yes, she is very different from you and you both should praise God for that. It is your responsibility to study her and learn how she thinks, reasons and why she feels the way she feels. Her reasoning and emotions do not have to make sense to you, but you do need to strive to recognize them and respond accordingly. ◘Too often men make this a one way street demanding their wives figure them out and change accordingly, but this a two-way street with the greater responsibility placed upon the man. Older women are to teach the younger women how to love their husbands (Titus 2:3-5), so they do have a responsibility to learn about you, but the greater responsibility still lies on you men to do this. Why? Because you are the man and she is the woman who is a weaker vessel.
◘ Feminists cringe at that, but Peter is simply pointing this out as a reality and why men need to take on this responsibility. This is simply a gender difference and not an inferiority. Men are physically stronger than women, but women often show greater stamina. Hence the old adage that a man works from rising to setting sun, but a woman’s work is never done. Men and women generally demonstrate equal intelligence while showing differences in aptitude to different fields of study and work. ◘ My personal opinion, for which I think I can make a scriptural case, is that Peter is referring to her emotional makeup which can lead her astray. Paul states in 1 Timothy 2:14 the reasons he did not allow women to teach or exercise authority over a man was both the order of creation and that it was Eve that was deceived, not Adam. Women are more easily led astray by their emotions.
The husband needs to take on the responsibility to strive to understand his wife and live with her accordingly granting her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life. She is not inferior to him, but she is different according to God’s design to be able to fulfill her roles. The differences between men and women are designed to compliment each other so that together they can carry out all of God’s commands.
◘ When a husband and wife do live according to God’s design in complimentary harmony, then the mystery in Ephesians 5:32 is revealed. Their marriage becomes reflective of the relationship between Christ and the church, and that glorifies God. And since that is a purpose in marriage, you can always rest assured that no matter how bad a marriage may currently be, ◘God’s desire is for it to succeed by becoming what it is supposed to be according to His design. He will be with you to change you so that you will do your part in making that happen.
◘Godly Character
We are about of time, but I want to conclude with a quick look at Psalm 15 and point out the characteristics of a godly man that will make a godly husband in a similar manner to what I did last week with Proverbs 31:10-31 for the ladies.
◘ Psalm 15:1 1 “O Yahweh, who may sojourn in Your tent? Who may dwell on Your holy mountain?” David begins with two questions on the same subject of who could approach God and be in His presence. The questions are answered by a brief description of the man who is godly.
◘ 2 “He who walks blamelessly, and works righteousness, And speaks truth in his heart.” The godly man is blameless, he is complete in moral conduct. He is a man of integrity whose character is decent, moral, honest, honorable, respectable. This is demonstrated in the things he does for they are righteous and in what he says for it is truth from his heart.
◘ 3 “He does not slander with his tongue, Nor does evil to his neighbor, Nor takes up a reproach against his friend.” The godly man avoids sin against others in what he says, what he does and what he allows in his presence. He does not speak maliciously against others. He does not take any action of evil against others. The idea of taking up a reproach is stronger than not joining in a reproach for it refers to not even “receiving” it. The godly man not only refrains from slander himself, but when slander against his friend is brought into his presence, he seeks to put a stop to it.
◘ 4 “In whose eyes a reprobate is despised, But who honors those who fear Yahweh; He swears to his own hurt and does not change.” The godly man is discerning and steadfast. He recognizes the differences between those who are evil and those who are good. The reprobate, those with a vile character, he views with contempt for they disgust him, but he honors those who fear Yahweh. ◘ In his own life, he is a man that keeps his word even when his promises end up being difficult to uphold or contrary to his own interest.
◘ 5 “He does not put out his money at interest, Nor does he take a bribe against the innocent. He who does these things will never be shaken.” The godly man is ethical in his finances. He takes no usury or bribe. He does not take advantage of others and exploit them.
◘ The result of all of these is a man that cannot be shaken come what may. His life is built on the solid rock of faith in God and pursuing His will so that even when the storms of life hit him, he remains steadfast.
◘ A man with those character traits will be a good husband. Men, that is what you need to strive be like. Ladies, that is what you need to encourage the men you influence to be like.
Sermon Notes – June 16, 2024
Marriage: The Role of the Husband – Selected Scriptures
Introduction
Feminist dominated culture treats men as ____________ and judges characteristics of men as toxic
Husbands who treat their wives as inferior servants are also _______, selfishness & in rebellion against God
Foundations
You cannot be a better husband than you are a _______
God created man in His own image for _______________ purposes
The natural (sinful) man does not understand and _______God’s design for his life because it foolish to him
God created man in His own image to be a reflection of His own ______attributes, but sin has corrupted that
All men can treat their wives properly to some degree, but only Christians can do so with proper _________
The unsaved need to __________to seek forgiveness for their sin, believe in Christ & pursue righteousness
God created man to be His regent on earth – a _________subduing it and having dominion over the animals
God has a specific _________upon your life discovered by your particular talents, abilities & circumstances
The Christian has an additional calling from God according his ___________gift, ministry & empowerment
God established marriage giving the man a “______suitable” in order to carry out his stewardship mandates
Though not every man will be married, that is what is to be ____________ (Matthew 19:10-12)
The current low rate & long delay in getting married reveals a lot of _____________reasons for being single
Strive to be ________ & find a woman doing the same and then Proverbs 18:22 will apply to you
Construction
Build walls on the foundation by fulfilling the responsibilities God has placed on you -____, provide, protect
Tender Warrior by Stu Webber – a book by a man written to men about God’s design for manhood
Provide: 1 Timothy 5:8 – a man ___________for the needs of “his own” – immediate and extended family
Going to work & bringing home a paycheck is only ___________________of providing
If your wife is working outside the home, make sure there is a _____reason for it & not just greater affluence
Lead: An aspect of being husband being the _________ of the wife – Ephesians 5:23; 1 Corinthians 11:3
The husband is to know _________ he is going and be looking ahead to take his family there
Leading is not driving – she ______behind with the man taking “point” to guide & protect to the destination
Protect: The Lord is our ultimate protection (Psalm 127:1), but the watchmen & guard must still be on ____
Men are to defend and protect their families both physically and ______________
A husband must be aware & take action to protect his family from ___________ influences
Your family should not bear the burden of ______ nor should you trust that evil will not influence them
Teach: Part of the responsibility of leading is to _____your family so that they stay on the path & stand firm
A husband is to be a __________ by teaching & example – which includes growing and learning himself
As part of ____________his household well, he will direct & provide for his family to learn what is needed
Companionship: The husband & wife are to have a reciprocal relationship & be __________with each other
Your spouse should be your best ________ in learning to walk with Christ in holiness
Companionship is a ________________that makes it easer for the man to build the four walls of his home
Improvement
Col. 3:19a – A husband that properly loves his wife makes it __________for her to fulfill her role
Sin interferes with the proper roles of husband & wife, but walking with Christ ____________ sin
Ephesians 5:28-30. A husband is to love his wife with the same care & attention he gives his ____________
It is pragmatic for a husband to love his wife for he is one with her & therefore loves ________in loving her
A husband is to love his wife as ________loved the church – a complete sacrifice for his wife’s best interest
The sacrifice is made in the pursuit of her _____________, not fulfilling her whims, wishes or pleasures
Putting her best interests above your own takes love, selflessness & _______, but Christians do that (Phil. 2)
Col. 3:19b – to not be _____________is the negative contrast to the positive action of loving her
The negatives of bitterness, whether a quick reaction or a slow burn, rise where there is __________to love
Wives can moderate this by their chaste & ___________behavior; husbands keep it at bay by sacrificial love
1 Peter 3:7 – husbands, live with your wife according to knowledge – she is to be your ________________
Understanding one another is a two way street with the greater responsibility on the _____________
Women are the “weaker vessel” – a gender _____________, not an inferiority. A reference to her emotions?
By God’s design, gender differences & roles result in complimentary _______reflecting Christ & the church
God’s desire is for your marriage to ________according to His design. He will always help you do your part
Godly Character – Psalm 15
vs. 1 – The answer to the two questions about who can ____with God are answered in the verses that follow
vs. 2 – ___________: A man who walks blamelessly, works righteousness, and whose words are true
vs. 3 – ___________: A man who does not slander, does no evil, does not a reproach against a friend
vs. 4 – ___________: A man who knows who is a reprobate & who fears Yahweh & responds accordingly
vs. 4 – ___________: A man who keeps his word & fulfills his promises even becomes negative for him
vs. 5 – ___________: A man who will not take usury or a bribe. He does not exploit others
vs. 5 – _________: A man whose life is built on the solid rock of faith in God cannot be shaken by adversity
A man with these character traits will be a ______husband – A goal for men to strive for; a man to be sought
KIDS KORNER
Parents, you are responsible to apply God’s Word to your children’s lives. Here is some help. Young Children – draw a picture about something you hear during the sermon. Explain your picture(s) to your parents at lunch. Older Children – Do one or more of the following: 1) Write down all the verses mentioned in the sermon and look them up later. 2) Count how many times “husband” is mentioned in the sermon. Talk with your parents about the qualities that make a man a good husband.
THINK ABOUT IT!
Questions to consider in discussing the sermon with others. What responsibilities did God give to man at creation? Why did he need a wife? Discuss the nature and importance of husband doing each following: Provide, Lead, Protect, Teach, be a Companion. How do each of the following improve the marriage: Love as your own body, Love as Christ loves the church, Not be embittered, Understand. Describe godliness in Psalm 15
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