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Pastor Scott L. Harris
Grace Bible Church, NY
July 21, 2024
Marriage: Communication Skills Part 2 – Edifying Content
Selected Scriptures
◘Review
My sermon last week was in essence a brief explanation of communication theory and how to mitigate the many problems that arise in trying to communicate clearly. ◘Clear communication is important for any relationship and it is essential to marriage in order for it to function according to God’s design. In 1 Corinthians 14:7-9 the Apostle Paul gives three quick illustrations of why clear communication is important. 7 “Yet even lifeless things, either flute or harp, in producing a sound, if they do not produce a distinction in the tones, how will it be known what is played on the flute or on the harp? 8 For if the bugle produces an indistinct sound, who will prepare himself for battle? 9 So also you, unless you utter by the tongue speech that is clear, how will it be known what is spoken? For you will be speaking into the air.” Without clarity in sound musical instruments create a cacophony instead of a symphony, the command given by the bugle call goes unheeded putting the army at risk, and speech is nonsensical gibberish.
◘ Until the other person can think the thought you are seeking to communicate, you have not succeeded. Hindrances can occur at every step of communication. You first have to encode your thought, i.e., you have to put your thought into some form of language that can be transmitted. But if your thoughts are fuzzy in your own mind or you cannot adequately encode your thought into a language, the other person will not be able to clearly understand your message.
Once your thought is encoded into a language it has to be transmitted by some means – verbal, visual, physical, electronic. But there are a myriad things that can interfere with that ranging from speech impediments, to background noise, to poor quality or failure of electronic equipment being used. The other person must receive the transmitted message and there are also a myriad of things that can interfere with that ranging from being hard of hearing, having poor eyesight, background noise and poor quality or failure of electronic equipment being used. Next, the person receiving the communication must decode the message which has its own host of potential problems ranging from language translation issues, to differing definitions for words, to confusion caused by mixed messages from tone of voice and body language.
◘ Both the sender and receiver of the message need to take responsibility in making sure the message was communicated clearly. If you do not think you clearly understand what you have received, ask questions to clarify until you do. If you are not sure you were understood, ask the other person to repeat back to you in their own words what you told them. If both sender and receiver will take this responsibility, then good and clear communication can take place. Go to the church website or our page on SermonAudio to read or listen to last week’s sermon and practical ways to mitigate the many problems that can arise in communication. (See: Communication Skills Part 1 – Effective Transmission)
◘Introduction
Today I want to talk about the content and manner of what is communicated. This is important in all communication, but especially so in marriage since it is the relationship in which you should be improving your abilities in walking holiness to reflect Christ and the church. You should always be striving to build up and give grace to your spouse who should be your closest relationship on earth.
We live in a very perverse society in which vulgarity, crassness, cussing and blasphemy have become normal. None of those are proper for the Christian at anytime. Those pastors who have used cussing and vulgarity in a foolish effort to relate with sinners as a means of trying to get them to listen to their message are deluded. That is not what Paul was talking about in 1 Corinthians 9:22 saying “I have become all things to all men, so that I may by all means save some.” That is “being conformed to this world” which Romans 12:2 states we are not to do. You cannot help a person get out of a miry pit by getting into it with them. You both get stuck in the mud. You help them by lowering a rope to them and pulling them up. ◘Or perhaps more to the point, you cannot fulfill the Great Commission of making disciples of Jesus by doing the opposite of what He did. Both the content of what Jesus said and the manner in which He said it was always God honoring. We are going to examine the content and manner of communication by examining the example and teaching of Jesus and then Paul and then conclude by looking at selected Proverbs.
◘The Communication of Jesus
The starting point for understanding the content and manner of what Jesus communicated is recognizing its source. Jesus said in John 12:49, “For I did not speak on My own initiative, but the Father Himself who sent Me has given Me a commandment as to what to say and what to speak.” Jesus came to do the will of the Father who sent Him (John 5:30). ◘This is part of His very identity. Hebrews 1:2-3 explains that God has spoken to us through His Son, Jesus Christ, “for He is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature.” John 1:1, 14, 18 explains that Jesus is the Word who was with and was God in the beginning who became flesh in order to dwell with men and explain the Father to men for Jesus told His disciples in John 14:9, “He who has seen me has seen the Father.” If you want to know God the Father, then you need to know Jesus.
◘ The content of all that Jesus said was directly connected to His purpose in declaring God the Father to people. That includes both the character and nature of God as well as His will, and Jesus did this by both teaching and example. The mercy and grace of God was seen in Jesus’ compassion upon the sick and weak by healing them, casting out the demons afflicting them, and rasing the dead (Matthew 9:36; 14:14). The love of God was demonstrated in Jesus’ voluntary death on the cross of Calvary as the redemption price for man’s sin (Romans 5:8) offering forgiveness to those who will believe in Him.
According to Mark 6:34, Jesus’ compassion for the people who were like sheep without a shepherd motivated His teaching them. ◘That also indicates to us the manner in which He taught. Matthew 12:17-21 describes Jesus’ manner as fulfilling the prophecy of Isaiah 42:1-3. This includes, 19 “He will not quarrel, nor cry out; Nor will anyone hear His voice in the streets. 20 “A battered reed He will not break off, And a smoldering wick He will not put out, Until He leads justice to victory. 21 “And in His name the Gentiles will hope.”
◘ Since Romans 8:29-30 reveals that a purpose of God providing salvation to those whom He foreknew, predestined, called and justified is to be conformed into the image of His Son as part of being glorified, then a purpose of all professing Christians is to imitate Jesus in their lives. That will include the content and manner in which we communicate. That is both a part of being a disciple and making disciples of Jesus for He explained in the Great Commission in Matthew 28:18-20 that after salvation and baptism the Christian life is spent “teaching them to observe all that I commanded you.”
◘ What does this mean in practical terms in your life? Paul got to the heart of that issue proclaiming in Galatians 2:20, “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” In all that you say and in all that you do it should be easy to see that Christ lives in you. That will be true in both the content and manner of communication as you learn more of Christ and the Holy Spirit continues to sanctify you. Why? Simply because your life will be increasingly focused on God instead of self. You will become quicker to praise Him privately and publically as well as point out and apply what God has revealed in His word on any relevant subject.
A few weeks ago I pointed out from Deuteronomy 6:4-9 that everyone is to love Yahweh our God with all our hearts, souls and might, and that the commands of God are to be on the hearts of parents who are to diligently teach them to their children “and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.” ◘As the Christian matures he should increasingly talk about God and principles and precepts of His commands in all the situations of life. While that seems very foreign in an American society in which increasing portion of it turns away from God and godliness in the moral and spiritual decline described of Romans 1 in not seeing it fit to acknowledge God any longer so that He gives them over to depraved minds, it was quite normal in years gone by and is still common in segments of our population. An illustration of this is the movie Gettysburg in which the film critics pointed out the overtly religious speech of the Southern Generals as overdone. That movie was based on Michael Shaara’s book, The Killer Angels, in which the speech of the Southerners was even more overtly religious, yet Shaara wrote this in his forward, “I thought it necessary to update some of the words so that the religiosity and naïveté of the time, which were genuine, would not seem too quaint to the modern ear.”
◘ We as Christians should be overtly religious in our speech in both content and manner for we desire to be like Christ who was quick to bring in God, His commands and application of them into His speech. Jesus modeled the application of Deuteronomy 6:4-7 with not only His disciples but with anyone He met. He could be very direct in pointing out sin and calling people to repent, yet was still gentle and patient with sinners and even longsuffering. His only harshly sharp words were reserved for rebuking the hypocritical scribes and Pharisees and warning them of the judgment they were facing if they did not repent.
◘ Let me encourage you to not be hesitant in giving glory to God and pointing out His perspective on issues as revealed in His word in both private and public. It may seem odd, but it is right. It may seem contrary to current common speech, but it is the only way to change what is common. If secularists can feel free to be crass, vulgar and blasphemous, then Christians should feel free and be bold to use speech that is pleasant, refined and religious.
◘The Communication of Paul
The Apostle Paul is a good example of a man that learned to imitate Christ even to the point that in 1 Corinthians 11:1 he called on them to “Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ.” This includes the content and manner of his communication. There was a radical change in Saul, the religious zealot, a Pharisee of the Pharisees who persecuted the church (Phil. 3:6). After Christ confronted him on the road to Damascus and Saul repented and believed (Acts 9), he quickly began to proclaim the gospel but also went away to Arabia for at least three years where he was taught by a revelation of Jesus Christ that changed him from Saul the Pharisee to Paul the Apostle. While none of us are apostles, ◘every Christian is radically changed at salvation to become a new creation in Christ so that old things have passed away and new things have come (2 Cor. 5:17). Each of us differs in the spiritual gift, ministry and empowerment by which we serve Christ (1 Cor. 12), but all of these things work together so that we mature as individuals and as a body of believers by which speaking the truth in love we grow up in all aspects into Christ (Eph. 4:12-16). The content and manner of our communication changes.
◘ Paul expressed the purpose of his writing and teaching in Colossians 1:28–29, 28 “We proclaim Him, admonishing every man and teaching every man with all wisdom, so that we may present every man complete in Christ. 29 For this purpose also I labor, striving according to His power, which mightily works within me.” That is in keeping with his statement in 2 Corinthians 10:5-6 on the purpose and methods of his communications to them, 5 “We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, 6 and we are ready to punish all disobedience, whenever your obedience is complete.” ◘Paul was ready to rebuke the heretic (Gal. 1:9), confront those that strayed from the gospel (Gal. 2:11-21), chasten those that continued in sin (1 Corinthians 5:1-5), and mark those that caused dissensions (Romans 16:17), yet he kept his balance because he kept his purpose in mind of bringing people to Christ and helping them to walk with Him.
◘ Wolves and those going astray need to be rebuked and warned, but even in this Paul would seek to do it in a godly manner. He describes this in 2 Timothy 2:24-26 as part of his instructions about refusing foolish and ignorant speculations. 24 “The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, 25 with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, 26 and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will.” His more general instructions in Galatians 6:1 are similar, “Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted.”
◘ In 1 Thessalonians 2:11–12 Paul describes his general purpose and method of ministry to saints, 11 “just as you know how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring each one of you as a father would his own children, 12 so that you would walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory.” Notice the reference to a father with his children. That also encompasses the instructions given to fathers in Deuteronomy 6 as pointed out earlier. You teach about God and His commands at every opportunity throughout daily life. ◘Paul understood that this kind of ministry needs to be done between all believers so he wrote in 1 Thessalonians 5:14, “We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone.”
◘ The specific teachings of Paul are seen throughout his many epistles. Most of them begin with doctrine and conclude with application of that doctrine. Paul was quick to point out the attributes of God, His character and nature often explained with quotes or examples from the Old Testament. He also taught God’s will for man by explaining the principles and precepts of God’s commands and their application. That is also something all believers should be doing, and you do not have to be a teacher or have the gift of teaching to do it. It is essential in making disciples of Jesus Christ. It is part of the normal body life of the church as explained in 1 Corinthians 12-13. You get better at this as you mature in Christ, but even the new believer can praise God for what he sees God doing, glorify God for what he is learning about Him, tell others what he is learning about how God wants him to live, and encourage others to do the same.
◘ Paul’s manner of communication is well summed up in Ephesians 4:29, “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.” Don’t be like the world which is crass and self-centered. Be thoughtful of others and seek to build them up in their walk with Christ that they may see and be blessed by what God is doing in their lives.
◘Communication Advice from Proverbs
James 3 contrasts the use of the tongue to both bless the Lord and to curse men. Psalm 10 contrasts giving praise to God as a proper use of speech with cursing which arises from wickedness. In the last section of this sermon I want us to examine some of the verses in the book of Proverbs that give very practical advice about communicating in ways which can give praise to God and avoid the wickedness of cursing men.
◘ Wisdom vs. Folly. Several Proverbs contrast speaking in wisdom with the folly of fools. Proverbs 10:31, “The mouth of the righteous flows with wisdom, But the perverted tongue will be cut out.” A righteous character and wisdom are connected together while a warning is given to the wicked. Proverbs 15:2, “The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable, But the mouth of fools spouts folly.” The wise speak with wisdom and also make that knowledge acceptable to the naive while those lacking understanding and proud declare things that are deficient in disdain for the truth.
◘ Speaking with appropriate timing is part of wisdom. Proverbs 15:23, “A man has joy in an apt answer, And how delightful is a timely word!” Related to this is speaking when conditions are right – Proverbs 25:11,“Like apples of gold in settings of silver Is a word spoken in right circumstances.”
The wise listen and think before answering. while the foolish do not. Proverbs 15:28, “The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, But the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.” Proverbs 18:13, “He who gives an answer before he hears, It is folly and shame to him.” Tragically, such folly is common even in Christian circles.
◘ Proverbs 8 personifies wisdom with verses 6-8 describing her communication. “Listen, for I will speak noble things; And the opening of my lips will reveal right things. For my mouth will utter truth; And wickedness is an abomination to my lips. All the utterances of my mouth are in righteousness; There is nothing crooked or perverted in them.” That is also the character of the Proverbs 31 woman who “opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue” (31:26).
◘ Godly Speech is truthful, loving, acceptable, judges righteously and receives a blessing. Proverbs 12:17, “He who speaks truth tells what is right . . .” Ephesians 4:15, “speaks the truth in love.” Proverbs 10:32, “The lips of the righteous bring forth what is acceptable . . .” Proverbs 31:9, “Open your mouth, judge righteously, And defend the rights of the afflicted and needy.” Proverbs 12:19, “Truthful lips will be established forever . . .” Godly speech is also valuable because it brings blessings to others including protection, good and life. Proverbs 10:20, “The tongue of the righteous is as choice silver . . .” Proverbs 14:3, “In the mouth of the foolish is a rod for his back, But the lips of the wise will protect them.” Proverbs 13:2 – “From the fruit of a man’s mouth he enjoys good . . .” Proverbs 15:4 –“A soothing tongue is a tree of life . . .”
◘Trouble from the Tongue
Those are all things that should characterize the content and manner of the Christian in his communication. They all reflect wisdom and righteousness and can bring great blessings. Proverbs also warns about communication that is foolish and sinful in content or manner which can bring great trouble. For those with foolish hearts, even the Proverbs become useless. Proverbs 26:7, “Like the legs which are useless to the lame, So is a proverb in the mouth of fools.” Here are warnings about ungodly things you want to avoid.
◘ Gossip refers to the spreading of rumor about the private matters of others behind their backs. There are several aspects to gossip. The Hebrew word used in Proverbs 18:8 & 26:20-22 (rāgan) is translated as “whisperer” because it is speech spoken in a secretive manner. 26:20-22“For lack of wood the fire goes out, And where there is no whisperer, contention quiets down. Like charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, So is a contentious man to kindle strife. 18:8 “The words of a whisperer are like dainty morsels, And they go down into the innermost parts of the body.” Proverbs 16:28 describes the destruction this causes with the same Hebrew word translated as “slanderer.” “A perverse man spreads strife, And a slanderer separates intimate friends.” Even if there is no intention to cause such damage, the danger is there nevertheless.
◘ Proverbs 11:13 and 20:19 both use another Hebrew word (rākîl) with a root meaning of “go about” as in trading to describe the spread of gossip. Gossip trades in personal information and rumor. Proverbs 11:13 translates this term as “talebearer,” “He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets, But he who is trustworthy conceals a matter.” Proverbs 20:19 translates it as “slanderer,” “He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, Therefore do not associate with a gossip.” The word gossip in that verse is from a root word (pātâ) that means to entice or deceive.
◘ The nature of gossip can change rapidly when it goes beyond just indiscretion and starts becoming malicious. Proverbs 10:18 translates as “slander” another Hebrew word (dibbâ) which is a defaming, evil report and is the action of a fool. Tragically, there a lot of these kinds of fools around who are happy to defame others if they think it will get them ahead. They are not just gossips, they are malicious gossips which purposely slander. That should never be true of a Christian.
◘ As a general rule, if you would not say it directly to the person, then you should not say it to others. If you tell someone else to get their advice, then you must go deal with the problem. If you do not, then you are gossiping and possibly slandering as well. ◘If someone seeks your advice and tells you about a problem with someone else, then be part of the solution by holding them accountable to deal with the problem. If you do not, then you become part of the problem by letting others gossip to you, and if you repeat it, then you are also a gossip. Holding a gossip accountable will quickly stop it.
◘ Seduction is an obvious wrong use of the tongue. Proverbs 6:24 warns about the “smooth tongue of the adulteress” with Proverbs 2:16, 7:5 and 7:21 also warning about her use of flattery and enticing persuasions. Proverbs 22:14 warns,“The mouth of an adulteress is a deep pit; He who is cursed of Yahweh will fall into it.” But the seductress is not the only one that uses her tongue to lead the naive astray into her trap. There are many that use their communication abilities to deceive others.
◘ Flattery is sweet to hear, and some consider it polite lying, but lying is still sin and the motives of flattery are evil. To flatter is to praise excessively especially from motives of self-interest. It is smooth and deceptive speech as described in Proverbs 29:5, “A man who flatters his neighbor Is spreading a net for his steps.” Flattery is used to entrap its prey and it works because it feeds the ego, builds up pride and blinds the hearer to the danger that is upon him. Its destructive force is expressed in Proverbs 26:28, “A lying tongue hates those it crushes, And a flattering mouth works ruin.” The lying tongue and the flatter have the same goal. The flatter is just more pleasant to listen to in the process of being destroyed. The godly prefer and practice Proverbs 28:23, “He who rebukes a man will afterward find more favor Than he who flatters with the tongue.” The righteous seek to be true friends as described in Proverbs 27:6, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.”
◘ Deception comes in more ways than just flattery. Proverbs 26:24-25 warns, “He who hates disguises it with his lips, But he lays up deceit in his heart. When he speaks graciously, do not believe him, For there are seven abominations in his heart.” Proverbs 12:20, “Deceit is in the heart of those who devise evil . . .” The deceitful hide the truth, so be careful about the character of those who advise you. Proverbs 12:5 warns, “The thoughts of the righteous are just, But the counsels of the wicked are deceitful.” Proverbs 3:32 declares God’s judgment of deceivers, “For the devious are an abomination to Yahweh; But He is intimate with the upright.” Proverbs 14:2 indicates the feeling is mutual, “He who walks in his uprightness fears Yahweh, But he who is devious in his ways despises Him.”
Deceit may be used to exploit you for financial gain, but it could be much more serious. Proverbs 16:29, “A man of violence entices his neighbor And leads him in a way that is not good.” Proverbs 10:6 adds, “Blessings are on the head of the righteous, But the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.”
◘ Be careful to put into practice Proverbs 4:24, “Put away from you a deceitful mouth And put devious speech far from you,” and Proverbs 24:28. “Do not be a witness against your neighbor without cause, And do not deceive with your lips.” You need to even be extremely careful about your sense of humor for Proverbs 26:19 compares a man who deceives a neighbor in a joke to a madman who throws firebrands, arrows and death.
◘ Lying is the at the root of gossip, seduction, flattery and deception, and Proverbs is very clear that lying is evil. Proverbs 6:17-19 lists a lying tongue and a false witness who utters lies as two of the things God hates and considers to be abominations. Proverbs 12:22 reinforces that saying, “Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, But those who deal faithfully are His delight.” Lying may bring about a short term gain, but it is destructive in the end. Proverbs 21:6, “The acquisition of treasures by a lying tongue Is a fleeting vapor, the pursuit of death.” Proverbs 19:9, “A false witness will not go unpunished, And he who tells lies will perish. That is contrasted in Proverbs 12:19 with honesty, “Truthful lips will be established forever, But a lying tongue is only for a moment.”
◘ Lying reveals a person’s character. Proverbs 14:5, “A trustworthy witness will not lie, But a false witness utters lies.” Strangely, liars tend to be more easily deceived as pointed out in Proverbs 17:4, “An evildoer listens to wicked lips; A liar pays attention to a destructive tongue.”
◘ Lying perverts the legal system. Proverbs 19:28, “A rascally witness makes a mockery of justice, And the mouth of the wicked spreads iniquity.” Liars may gain in the short term, but justice will prevail. ◘Proverbs 19:5, “A false witness will not go unpunished, And he who tells lies will not escape.” Proverbs 29:26, “Many seek the ruler’s favor, But justice for man comes from Yahweh.” Even more sobering is Revelation 21:8, “But for the cowardly and unbelieving and abominable and murders and immoral persons and sorcerers and idolaters and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.” God is so serious about lying that He excludes all liars from heaven and instead condemns them to their just penalty.
◘ Perversion of truth is what underlies all sin. It entered mankind when Eve was deceived in the Garden of Eden and ate the forbidden fruit, and Adam then rejected the truth he had been given by God to join her in sin. Men pursue the wickedness of their own selfish desires because they reject God’s revelation of truth including the law He has written on their conscience (Romans 2). The perversion that is in the heart will then flow out in what is communicated.
(For the full sermon on Proverbs & the Tongue, click here)
◘ Jesus said in Matthew 15:18-19 that what proceeds from the mouth comes from the heart and that is what defiles a man. This includes things such as evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness and slanders. People have problems with their mouths because their hearts are perverse. All men start in that state because we are born in sin, but you do not have to remain there. Proverbs 11:20 states, “The perverse in heart are an abomination to the Lord, But the blameless in their walk are His delight.” How does a person with a perverted heart and has a mouth that gossips, deceives and lies become blameless?
◘ That is what the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ is all about. Jesus, the second person of the eternal Godhead, becoming a man, lived a sinless life, died on the cross as the substitute payment for sin and then rose from the dead to redeem you and break your bondage to sin (Romans 6). It is by God’s grace that you can be saved through faith in the person and work of the Lord Jesus Christ. You cannot earn it, for all your righteous deeds are as filthy rags before our holy God (Isaiah 64:6). Eternal life is granted to you solely on the basis of believing God’s promise that Jesus is who He claims to be and His work of redemption is sufficient for you. There is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1).
Because the Lord cleanses the heart from its perversity, you can begin to properly communicate what is right and to cease from saying what is sinful. Proverbs 21:23, “He who guards his mouth and his tongue, Guards his soul from troubles.” The Lord also calls you to walk in wisdom and grants that wisdom in order “To deliver you from the way of evil, From the man who speaks perverse things” (Proverbs 2:12). He changes you from being one of the foolish and wicked into being righteous and wise. You will also be able to recognize what is sinful and protect yourself from the perversity of others.
If you do not yet know the Lord Jesus Christ as your savior, then today is the day of salvation. Recognize your sinfulness and turn from it casting yourself upon the mercies of the Lord Jesus and He will forgive and save you from your sin.
◘ May each one here take to heart and apply these pithy statements of truth in Proverbs. May every Christian here follow the example given by Paul in being conformed into the image of Christ so that the content and manner of our communication reflects Him. All of your relationships will be blessed by it if you do. May this be especially true in your marriages so that you will glorify God by reflecting Christ and His church.
Sermon Notes – July 21, 2024
Marriage: Communication Skills Part 2 – Edifying Content
Review
Clear communication is ______________for any relationship & essential to marriage (1 Cor. 14:7-9)
A thought is encoded, transmitted, received & decoded – hindrances occur at ___________ step
Sender & receiver must take _____________to ensure the initial thought is what is also understood
Introduction
Vulgarity, crassness, cussing and blasphemy may be normal in society, but they are ___proper for believers
You cannot fulfill the Great Commission of making disciples by doing the ___________of what Jesus did
The Communication of Jesus
What Jesus said & did was always according to the will and direction of the ____________
Jesus is the ____________of God the Father – Hebrews 1:2-3, John 1:1, 14, 18; 14:9
The __________of all Jesus said & His example was to declare the character, nature, & will of the Father
His ___________of communication was with the compassion & gentleness of a shepherd with his sheep
The Christian is to be conformed to the image of Jesus and so should __________Him (Rom. 8:29-20)
In all that you say and in all that you do it should be easy to see that __________lives in you (Gal. 2:20)
The maturing Christian will _____________talk about God, and the principles & precepts of His commands
Christians should be overtly ___________in speech in both content & manner for we desire to be like Christ
_______ be hesitant in giving glory to God & pointing out His perspective on issues as revealed in His word
The Communication of Paul
Paul is a good example of a man that learned to imitate __________including content & manner of speech
Every Christian is radically ___________at salvation to become a new creation in Christ (2 Cor. 5:17)
Paul wrote to proclaim Christ & bring people to ____________in Christ (Col. 1:28-29; 2 Cor. 10:5-6)
Paul would ___________heretics, confront those in error, chasten those in sin, & mark trouble makers
He did these things while still being kind, patient & gentle in teaching so that they would _______(2 Tim. 2)
Paul would exhort, encourage & implore as a _____________would his children (1 Thess. 2:11-12)
_____________to admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone
Paul’s content was the ____________of God – His character, nature, will & plan – with much application
Paul rejected the manner of the world and sought to ________and give grace to those that heard (Eph. 4:29)
Communication Advice from Proverbs
The tongue can bring a blessing or a curse – Proverbs gives ______________advice on both
Wisdom vs. Folly: Wisdom & righteousness bring ___________while folly & worldliness bring curses
Wisdom has appropriate ________in the right circumstance & listens before answering (15:2, 23, 28; 18:13)
____________ speaks of what is noble, true, righteous and kind (Proverbs 8:6-8)
Godly Speech is ______, loving, acceptable, judges righteously & receives a blessing (10:20, 32; 12:17, 19)
Trouble from the Tongue
Proverbs warns about _________, evil & worldly content & manner – Proverbs are useless to a fool (26:7)
Gossip: Spreads rumors about private matters of others __________their backs – (18:8; 26:20-22; 16:28)
A gossip goes about trading in personal information and ___________- a talebearer – (11:13; 20:19)
Gossip can become _____________by defaming, giving evil reports – these are actions of a fool
If you won’t say it to the person, don’t say it to others. Advisors hold ____________to work on the problem
Seduction uses flattery and _____________to lead the naive into a pit (Proverbs 2:16; 6:24: 7:5, 21; 22:14)
Flattery is sweet to hear, but its motive is _________seeking to entrap & exploit (26:28; 27:6; 28:23; 29:5)
Deception comes in many forms. It hides the truth (lies) in order to ________or harm (3:22; 10:6; 26:24-25)
The godly are _______________________(4:24; 12:5; 24:28) and are careful about “joking” (26:19)
Lying is the at the root of gossip, seduction, flattery & deception. Lying is an ___________(6:17-19; 12:22)
Lying __________a person’s character (14:5) & perverts the legal system (19:28)
Liars will not escape God’s __________(19:5; 29:26; Rev. 21:8)
Perversion of ____is underlies all sin – beginning with Eve (Gen. 3) & continuing in the present (Rom 1, 2)
Your mouth and actions reveal what is in your ___________(Matthew 15:18-19)
The ___________is man’s hope for forgiveness of sin, cleansing and radical change to live righteously
Follow the _________of Jesus & Paul & heed the Proverbs in the content & manner of your communication
KIDS KORNER
Parents, you are responsible to apply God’s Word to your children’s lives. Here is some help. Young Children – draw a picture about something you hear during the sermon. Explain your picture(s) to your parents at lunch. Older Children – Do one or more of the following: 1) Write down all the verses mentioned in the sermon and look them up later. 2) Count how many times “communication,” “say / saying” is mentioned in the sermon. Talk with your parents about how you can follow the examples of Jesus and Paul in your communication.
THINK ABOUT IT!
Questions to consider in discussing the sermon with others. Explain communication theory and its importance in communicating clearly. Can vulgarity be used in proclaiming the gospel? Explain. What was the source of Jesus’ communication? What was the content of Jesus’ communication? What was the manner of Jesus’ communication? When and where did Jesus talk about God and His will for man? When and where should Christians talk about God and His will for man? What radical change happened to Saul the Pharisee that he became Paul the apostle? What radical change happens to all Christians? What was the purpose of Paul’s communications? What was his manner of communication? When and where did he talk about God and His will for man? How can you emulate Jesus and Paul in your own communication? What are the characteristics of wise and righteous communication compared to foolish and wicked communication according to Proverbs? What are the characteristics and blessings of Godly speech? Proverbs gives many warnings about troubles caused by the tongue. Explain the issue and warnings concerning each of the following: Gossip, Seduction, Flattery, Deception, Lying and Perversion of the truth. Why are liars excluded from heaven? Pick a Proverb to either help you pursue righteousness or keep you from unrighteous and memorize it this week.
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