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Pastor Scott L. Harris
Grace Bible Church, NY
August 3, 2024
▣Marriage: Communication Skills 3 – Resolving Conflict
Selected Scriptures
Introduction
I appreciate very much David Sampugnaro preaching here last week while I was in the Dominican Republic. It was Father’s Day there, so I preached a message on the responsibilities of fathers from Deuteronomy 6 that I preached here two years ago with some of my illustrations and points modified because I was an alien in a land foreign to me working among people that spoke a language with which I am familiar, but which I do not understand beyond some common phrases of common courtesy. I was living out a temporal reality of the point of David’s message last week. Though I was among people that are friends, I was in a country in which I did not fit. I was glad to be there and help out as I could, but I am also glad to be home where I do fit. I do not need translators to communicate or guide to get me safely from one place to the other when I am home.
So it is in our Christian walk on this earth. The Christian is radically changed to become a new creation in Christ which makes us aliens here and we begin to realize that we do not fit. ▣ As the Christian becomes more like Christ, the more he does not fit. What the world values becomes increasingly less important to the believer. Minds that had been darkened in understanding are being enlightened by the Holy Spirit resulting in thinking differently from the world. Even our language begins to change. The unwholesome speech common to the unregenerate will soften and disappear as the old self and its habits are laid aside and the new man is put on as Paul describes in Colossians 3. Actions and attitudes such as anger, wrath, malice, slander, abusive speech, filthy speech, silly talk, coarse jesting and lying are replaced with the opposite traits such as grace, kindness, encouragement, wisdom, holiness and truth.
That brings us to the topic of today’s sermon which is the third in the series on communication as part of the series on marriage. Resolving Conflict or How to Fight Fairly. ▣ Even in good and godly marriages there will be disagreements because you and your spouse are two different people with differences in desires and priorities. How then are those differences and the conflict that can arise out of them be faced and resolved in ways that honor God? How can that be done in all of your relationships.
▣ Back to Basics
The starting point once again is going back to Genesis to remember that God created you for His own purposes. Life is not about you and your happiness. Life is about God and holiness. Your primary mission in life is to come to know God and His will for your life and then walk with Him in order to fulfill His purposes and glorify Him. That lays a firm foundation for working out conflict and sets the parameters on how to do so. That is much easier to do when both people are doing this, but even when the other person in opposition is being ungodly, the pursuit of godliness in your own life will greatly reduce the conflict and make it easier to resolve it. (See: God Created Man)
▣ In marriage this also means going back to God’s purposes in establishing marriage, fulfilling the role He has for you as a husband or wife, and following His commands on how to treat each other in the pursuit of His design for marriage. The ultimate purpose of all Christian marriages is to be a picture of Christ and the church. Couples that strive to live according to God’s design for marriage will have fewer conflicts and will be able to resolve those that do occur more quickly because the godly love and respect between them is contrary to the pride & selfishness that is at the core of most conflicts. (See: God Established Marriage, Marriage: Its Purpose & Symbolism, Marriage: Maintaining the Hedges, Marriage: The Role of the Wife, Marriage: The Role of the Husband)
▣ In all other relationships making sure the basics of communication are being accomplished reduces conflict because it eliminates misunderstandings which are a cause of many conflicts. Communication goes both ways. Make sure that the other person understands what you are trying to communicate to them and make sure you understand what the other person is trying to communicate to you. Successful communication has not occurred until both parties accurately understand each other. Don’t assume! Ask questions to clarify. Repeat back in your own words what you think they are saying. Communication Skills Part 1 – Effective Transmission, Communication Skills Part 2 – Edifying Content & Manner)
▣ Conflict is also reduced if you follow the examples of Jesus and Paul in their manner and content. Godliness reduces conflict. Learn and follow the very practical advice in Proverbs and you will also reduce conflict. Be wise instead of foolish. Use speech that is godly in content and manner. Avoid the troubles that arise from improper use of the tongue such as gossip, slander, flattery, deception, lying and perverse speech. In the next couple of weeks I will specifically address these issues and more with practical solutions to the foolishness in ourselves and in our relationships that are the underlying causes of most conflict. However, before I get to that I want to examine the different ways in which you can respond to conflict depending on the issue of the conflict and the relationship you have with the person with whom you are in conflict.
▣ Responding to Conflict
It would be ideal if every conflict would end in harmonious resolution, but the sinful nature of man makes that an unrealistic dream. Even among those who would be considered mature Christians there will be conflict that will not come to a resolution much less a harmonious one. Even when the ultimate goal is the same, differences in priority can result in conflict.
▣ An example of this is the “sharp disagreement” between Paul and Barnabas recorded in Acts 15:36-41 about whether John-Mark should go with them on their second missionary trip. Mark had deserted them in the middle of the first missionary journey so Paul did not want him to go with them again. Barnabas, a nick name which means “son of encouragement,” wanted him to go. They could not come to a resolution and both refused to compromise, so they separated. Barnabas and Mark went to Cyprus while Paul and Silas went through Syria to Cilicia. God used the conflict to double the missionary effort, but the disagreement did not have to be “sharp” which means irritating or even provoking.
▣ I point this out so that you will recognize that even godly people can struggle to reach resolution and godly compromise. Paul and Barnabas wanted the same thing in returning to visit and minister in the churches that they had planted in their first missionary journey. However, Paul placed a high value on the ministry to those churches without having to also deal with someone that he already knew was unreliable. Barnabas also wanted to minster to those young churches again, but he placed a high value on encouraging his younger cousin Mark to mature beyond his past failure to be useful in missionary endeavors again. Having Mark come with them again would give that opportunity. ▣ Since the value they placed on their own particular priorities was greater than the personal relationship between them, they ended up separating in a manner that was less godly than it could and should have been. I should note here that despite this that the ministries of both teams in the end were blessed and John-Mark did mature and was eventually reconciled with Paul and became useful to him (2 Timothy 4:11). God is greater than our sin (Romans 8:28).
The following diagram is adapted from the one in the “Before you say, ‘I Do’” workbook by Norm Wright, and it is helpful in understanding the possibilities in a conflict and why people may respond as they do
Moving from left to right indicates an increasing importance in the value of the relationship with the person with whom you are in conflict. Moving from low to high indicates an increasing importance in the value of the particular issue over which there is conflict. In the case of Paul and Barnabas, the value of the issue at hand was so great to each that the value of their relationship with each other was low by comparison. So in the diagram, each went for the “win” in the lower right corner and they separated from each other in order to accomplish their priorities. ▣ If each had placed a higher value on the relationship, they would have come to either a compromise in which case perhaps Mark could have gone with them on a probationary status, or even a resolution in which they would still go their separate ways but without the acrimony that had developed. They would have had a disagreement, but not a sharp one.
▣ Again, ideally, mature Christians should be able to reach resolution with each other, but as this example demonstrates, that does not happen if each believes he or she is properly following God and cannot compromise on the issue. Humility will help ensure the disagreement is not an issue of pride, but there will be times that even in humility and in placing a high value on the relationship, the only godly option is to go for the win because the issue is clearly one of needing to obey God without compromise. This came up while I was teaching in the Dominican Republic last week and will serve as a good example by pointing out what should have happened in pursuing a win instead of what did happen in an ungodly compromise.
▣ Adam and Eve were enjoying a wonderful life in the Garden of Eden where everything was beautiful, life was easy and they walked with God. That all changed when Eve was tempted by Satan through the serpent’s slander and lies about God. The doubt created enticed Eve to pursue her own desires according to her own wisdom to take and eat of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil because it appeared good for food, was beautiful to the eyes and desirable to make her wise like God. She was deceived and ate from the fruit and immediately experienced evil which had been unknown to her previously, and the image of God in her was corrupted. Her reasoning, emotions and volition were twisted to now include evil ideas, feelings and choices. Satan had lied and now she was less like God than before disobeying Him.
▣ Eve’s actions gave Adam a dilemma. Eve handed him the fruit. That in itself was evil on Eve’s part since it is a direct action by her to get him to join her in her disobedience to God, but how could Adam know what had happened to her internally? What should he do? If he accepts the fruit and eats it, he knows he will be directly disobeying the one prohibition God has given to him. If he does not accept the fruit from her, it will be the first conflict he had ever experienced with her because there had been no sin or even a thought of evil in or between them up to that point in time. ▣ They had been completely exposed to each other physically, mentally and emotionally in perfect harmony. That was now rapidly changing. We know what Adam did and that it was wrong. Perhaps because there was no outward visible change in Eve, a doubt was created in Adam that eating the fruit would cause death – whatever that was since he had not seen it yet. ▣ Whatever his motivation, Adam ate of the fruit in willful defiance and disobedience to God and all of mankind was plunged into sin. We inherit our sin nature from Adam (Rom. 5:12).
There are those that take the position that Adam did this out of love for Eve even suggesting it was it was somehow romantic and virtuous that they would suffer the consequences of their sin together. ▣ I will grant that Adam did it out of the high value he placed on his relationship with Eve, but it was not love for love wants what is best for the other person. ▣ Joining her in sin would not be what would be best for her. Even if he had a fear that if something happened to Eve there was no other creature like her that corresponded to him would not be a motive of love. Jumping into the miry pit of sin with her only entraps both of them and removes any possibility of helping her. ▣ He would have to remain in his innocent state if he was going to be able to help her at all. Eating the forbidden fruit did show he placed a low value on the actual issue at hand which was whether or not he would obey and trust God. Adam yielded to Eve in trust of his own reasoning. This is a case in which Adam should have placed high value on obedience to God above all else. ▣ There can be no compromise with sin regardless of the value you place on your relationship with someone else because you must value your relationship with God above all else. Adam’s disobedience to God demonstrated his lack of love and trust of Him.
▣ What should have Adam done? First, he should have done a better job of protecting his wife from the devil. ▣ Second, he should have refused to accept the fruit and told her to throw it back under the tree and trust God for what would happen next. Again, joining someone in their sin is never loving. ▣ Third, if he did love her, Adam would have gone to God to plead for her life and pledging to do whatever God might require to spare her whatever the cost to himself. That would have been love for her and love for God.
▣ When we place high value on the issue and the relationship we will strive for resolution if possible and comprise if necessary. A resolution is when both parties come to an agreement that completely satisfies both. ▣ A compromise is an agreement you can accept and live with but does not completely satisfy. However, your relationship to God and obedience to Him must be of greater value than anything else in life, so if the reason for the conflict involves obedience to Him, then neither resolution nor compromise are options. You must go for the “win.” That is how Jesus handled each of Satan’s temptations (Matthew 4), and that is how we are to handle any temptation to sin.
Most conflicts are not so clearly defined as obedience to God or not. Usually they are a mixture of personal desires and how best to do something. The conflict between Paul & Barnabas is an example of such a conflict. What was the best way to work together and return to strengthen the churches? What about some of the other possibilities?
▣ Paul gives instructions concerning marriage in 1 Corinthians 7 which includes his personal opinion about the advantages of singleness in the situation present at that time. In the sections concerning whether a father should give his daughter in marriage or not Paul states plainly that there is no sin either way. ▣ While who your daughter marries is a high value issue since she needs to marry someone who is in the faith and is a man of personal integrity, whether she does get married or not is of much lower value which places the relationship in a position of much greater importance. The father can then yield or easily compromise with his daughter’s desires. ▣ If the issue itself is of minimal importance compared to the relationship, then yielding your will to the other person is a proper response. Many issues in life will fall into this category. The issue is not important to you, so you yield to the other person because it is important to them.
▣ The fourth extreme is to withdraw. That is when both the issue at hand and the relationship are of low value. There are several very scary passages in Scripture in which God takes this position. Hosea 4:17, “Ephraim is joined to idols; Let him alone.” Psalm 81:12, “So I gave them over to the stubbornness of their heart, To walk in their own devices.” ▣ Jesus in speaking of the Pharisees in Matthew 15:14, “Let them alone; they are blind guides of the blind. And if a blind man guides a blind man, both will fall into a pit.” The three steps down into depravity in Romans 1:24, 26 & 28 which repeats the phrase “God gave them over . . .” ▣ In all of these cases God had done everything He was going to do to bring these people back into relationship with Himself. God was not indifferent toward them, but they rejected His pursuit of redeeming them, so He withdrew. We are instructed in Hebrews 12:14 to “Pursue peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord.” A qualifier is given in Romans 12:18, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.” It is not always possible to be at peace with some people, in which case, it can be proper to withdraw.
Paul points this out as a possibility in a marriage between a Christian and a non-Christian. ▣ After stating directly in 1 Cor. 7:12-13 that if the unbeliever consents to live with the believer, then they both should continue to do so because the unbeliever is blessed and sanctified by the believer with verses 16 pointing out that it may bring about the salvation of the unbeliever. However, in verse 15 Paul writes, “Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.” Or to state it another way, if the unbeliever chooses to withdraw from the marriage, the believer can accept that and no longer must engage in the conflict in trying to keep the unbeliever in the marriage. It is not ideal, but it is acceptable to withdraw.
▣ Resolution shows high value is placed on both the relationship and the issue. Withdrawal is the exact opposite of placing a low value on both the relationship and the issue. ▣ Yielding occurs when the relationship is more important than the issue. Winning occurs when the issue in the conflict is more important than the relationship. ▣ Most conflicts will be somewhere between these extremes in the area of compromise. Neither party to the conflict will be completely satisfied, but the compromise will be within the range of acceptability to both.
▣ How you respond to a conflict will be dependent upon what you value and your priorities. The better you know the Lord, His revealed will and your sensitivity to the Holy Spirit, the better what you value and your priorities will match His. The greater your maturity in walking with the Lord, the more godly will be your manner and attitude in handling conflict.
With that now in mind, lets now begin to look at the underlying causes of conflict because what we value and our priorities do not match those of God, and our manner in responding reveals that God is still working on us in conforming us into the image of Christ. I anticipate this will take us at least a couple of weeks. I believe this will provide some very practical help in all your relationships and especially so in marriage since that is the priority human relationship and the one in which you are to mature in learning to deal with all other relationships in a godly manner.
▣ Causes of Conflict
The foundational cause of all human conflict is sin and the foolishness it brings to life. I have already pointed out that our sin nature is inherited from Adam so that we naturally follow in their foolish footsteps in thinking and acting like we know better than God. Satan may entice us, but he does so by tempting us in the areas of our own desires. ▣ James 1:14–15 points this out directly stating, 14 “But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. 15 Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.”Turn again to Genesis 3 because Adam and Eve also set the pattern of how humans normally deal with conflict.
Genesis 3:7–8 (LSB) records what happened after they ate the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. 7 “And the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings. 8 Then they heard the sound of Yahweh God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of Yahweh God in the midst of the trees of the garden.”
▣ Their disobedience to God resulted knowing evil by the personal experience of their own actions. They recognize their sinfulness demonstrated by realizing they are naked. That had not been a problem before, but with corrupted minds and emotions, it now is a problem. They seek a way to cover their nakedness by their own means and methods. They also become afraid of God and so hid from Him. They separated themselves from God, and that is spiritual death. ▣ It is God that came looking and calling out to them, then asking what they had done. That is when the blame game began. Adam blamed Eve and God who gave her to him, Eve blamed the serpent, and the snake lost his legs and voice. That has been the pattern mankind has followed ever since.
▣ Unregenerate man does not admit his own faults willingly. The guilt is there and is felt, but just like Adam and Eve, man tries to deal with it by his own means and methods to cover it up and will admit it only under duress and even then seek to blame someone else or the circumstances. The regenerated man does better because the Holy Spirit is there to prod toward righteousness and convict of sin so the Christian will confess his sins to God.
▣ As pointed out in 1 John 1:8-10, it is this confession of sin to God that is the marked difference between the true Christian and the non-Christian and those with false professions. Non-believers will deceive themselves in claiming they have no sin which demonstrates that truth is not in them, or they may even claim they have not sinned which demonstrates God’s word is not in them since they are in essence calling God a liar. Paul states it bluntly in Romans 3 using both aorist and present tense verbs that “all have sinned” and there is none righteous, good, understands or seeks after God (Romans 3:23, 10-18). The Christian is convicted by the Holy Spirit resulting in confession – agreeing with God about the sin – and receives His forgiveness and cleansing because His is faithful and righteous. God keeps all of His promises.
▣ Secular counseling has become a major service industry founded on man’s propensity to blame others or circumstances for his problems. For a fee, the counselor will help you discover why you are not to blame and how you can overcome the negative consequences of your actions and beliefs. Tragically, that is what a lot of self proclaimed Christian counselors do though they might also pray and cite a few Bible verses. Now to be fair, there are a few philosophies of secular counseling that include taking responsibility for your own attitudes and actions that contribute to the conflict, but they are not going to ground that in the fact that you are a sinner who is alienated from God. ▣ A good Christian counselor will help you escape the blame game to take personal responsibility for your own sinful actions and attitudes and then get right with God and others.
Before I continue, I want to emphasize that what I am pointing out today and in the next couple of weeks about the causes of our foolishness and the resulting conflicts and solutions to them applies to everyone because the truths of God’s word applies to everyone.▣ However, it will only be Christians that will be able to properly implement them. Only those who have been saved from sin by God’s grace alone through Christ alone by faith alone have a radically changed nature and the Holy Spirit to enable them to walk with God according to His commands. The unbeliever can pick up some principles that can help since doing things God’s way is always more beneficial than following the ways of the world, but without the Holy Spirit to radically change you these underlying reasons for conflict will remain.
▣ Pride. I will start with pride because it is the original sin that brought Satan into conflict with God (Isaiah 14:12-15), and it is one of the three areas in which Satan uses our desires to tempt us. In Genesis 3:5 Eve desires the fruit because she fell for the devil’s lie that it would make her wise like God in knowing good and evil. 1 John 2:16 refers to this as the “boastful pride of life” which is a love of the world.
▣ The proud are resistant to learn discernment from the counsel of others or even by the word of God. Pride is at the heart of all foolishness because the proud think they know enough already. Proverbs 12:15 admonishes, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, But a wise man is he who listens to counsel.” The proud do not recognize their sinfulness as Proverbs 30:12 explains, “There is a kind who is pure in his own eyes, Yet is not washed from his filthiness.” Because of that they will reject the counsel of wisdom (Proverbs 1:25, 30). It is not that they hate all knowledge, only that knowledge which is against what they want to do. The result is foolishness which can be entrenched to the point that they delight in revealing their own mind instead of desiring true understanding (Proverbs 18:2). ▣ As pride increases, the proud become arrogant and proceed carelessly doing what seems best to them though its end is the way of death (Proverbs 14:16; 16:25). They may self-justify their ways as clean, but the Lord weighs the motives as well as the actions (Proverbs 16:2). They mock at sin and doing wickedness becomes like a sport to them (Proverbs 10:23 & 14:9). Proverbs 15:25 warns, “The Lord will tear down the house of the proud . . .”
▣ I don’t think it is hard to see how pride damages relationships and tears down the home. All of us can probably easily recall some incident when either our pride or the pride of the other person resulted in great turmoil or even destroyed a relationship. I know that men are usually targeted as having this problem more than women, but that is actually because they are just more obvious about it. ▣ Men tend to be outspoken and defiant in their pride. They tend to get angry, make demands, won’t listen or will even walk away. Women tend to be more subtle. They tend to remain more calm wanting to talk about it and normally yield more easily outwardly because they usually place a higher value on the relationship. However, the pride level can be just as high. Remaining calm is a better platform for planning strategy to win. Talking and hearing is not the same as listening and understanding. Yielding in one area can also be the set up to manipulate to get what is more important in another. There is a dialogue line included in a movie that accurately portrays this thinking as the bride to be is advised, “The man is the head, but the woman controls the neck to turn it any way she wishes.”
▣ The solution to pride and the conflicts it causes is found in Proverbs 3:7, “Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and turn away from evil.” Humility is crucial to walking with God and building a strong home. Humility is born out of having a correct assessment of one’s own ability and importance, and since that assessment is contrasted with God and his commands, it will always come out low. The humble can recognize that they have superior abilities and wisdom than other people, but because they also acknowledge such ability and wisdom are the gracious gifts of God working through them, they are never arrogant about it. ▣ They regard others as more important than themselves and look out for their interests and not just their own concerns just as Philippians 2:3-4 commands.
Jesus was humble in setting aside the glories of heaven to become a man and be the atoning sacrifice for man’s sin (Philippians 2:5-8). ▣ Jesus also overcame Satan’s temptation to pride by submitting Himself and His desires to the Father including the means and the timing of the promises the Father had made to Him (Matthew 4). The humble properly fear the Lord and so they turn away from evil to search for His will so that they keep their way pure. ▣ The humble are more diligent in Bible study and faster to seek godly counsel so that they can have a better walk with God. That is the way we can overcome pride because the Lord opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6), and every person need God’s grace first for salvation from sin and then for our daily walk with Him and others.
Sermon Notes – August 3, 2041
Communication Skills 3 – Resolving Conflict – Selected Scriptures
Introduction
As the Christian continues to mature in Christ, the more he _____________________in this world
Conflict will occur even among godly people because each individual has __________in desires & priorities
Back to Basics
God is our creator, so as His creatures our lives are about Him & ____________and not us & our happiness
God established marriage, so we are to fulfill our roles in pursuit of His ____________for it
Because diligence in proper & clear communication eliminates ____________________it reduces conflict
Godliness in attitude, speech and action ____________ conflict while ungodliness aggravates conflict
Responding to Conflict
A “_____________ disagreement” between Paul and Barnabas (Acts 15:36-41)
Even godly people can _______________ to reach resolution and godly compromise
The value each placed on his own priorities above their relationship resulted in _____________ separation
If Paul & Barnabas had placed higher value on their ____________, they should have at least compromised
In humility, Christians should be able to resolve conflict, but Godly priorities may require a “_______”
Adam & Eve enjoyed a wonderful life in the Garden of Eden until ________ entered their lives
Eve’s actions, including her evil in offering him the fruit, put Adam in a _______: Obey God or yield to her?
The perfect harmony between them had now changed. Whatever his motivation, he chose to _______to Eve
Adam placed a high value on Eve, but it was ___ ________. Joining in her sin was not what was best for her
Adam would have to remain in his _____________ state to be able to have any ability to help Eve
Adam’s disobedience to God demonstrated his __________ of love and trust of Him
Adam should have: Protected Eve better, _______the fruit, Pleaded to God for her life at any cost to himself
Resolution is satisfying, compromise is acceptable, but God must be ______& that requires a “win” – Matt 4
1 Corinthians 7 – instructions concerning marriage: A father can “________” in letting his daughter marry
Yield when non-sinful issues are of ____________ importance to you and the relationship is of high value
You can “________” if both the issue & the relationship are of low value: Hos 4:17; Rom 1:24,26,28; 12:14
1 Cor. 7:12-16: Unequally yoked should stay together, but if unbeliever ______, the believer can “withdraw”
Response to conflict varies with ___________of the issue & relationship: Resolution, Withdraw, Yield, Win
The greater godliness in _____________ with the Lord, the greater your godliness in responding to conflict
Causes of Conflict
The foundational cause of all human conflict is ________ and the foolishness it brings to life
James 1:14–15 – see Genesis 3
Disobedience brought experiential knowledge of evil, corrupt minds try to cover nakedness by ___________
God confronts them on their sin & the ______game begins: Adam blames God & Eve, Eve blames the snake
Unregenerate man won’t _____sin; Regenerate man will confess – and be forgiven & cleansed (1 Jn 1:8-10) Secular counseling helps you develop _______& live for yourself – man “Christian” counselors do the same
A godly counselor helps you take _______________for your sin and get right with God and others
The causes of sin & foolishness apply to _______, but only Christians will properly implement the solutions
Pride is the original ______ (Isaiah 14:12-15) and one of the areas Satan used to tempt Eve (Genesis 3:5)
Pride is at the heart of all _________& it resists learning discernment (Proverbs 1:25,30; 12:15; 18:2; 30:12
The proud become ____________, self-justify & mock at sin (Prov. 10:23; 14:9,16; 16:2, 25)
Pride _____________ relationships and tears down the home
Pride tends to be more obvious in men, but it is just as much of a problem for ___________
The solution to pride and the conflicts it causes is __________ in fearing the Lord (Proverbs 3:7)
The humble regards others as more important in following the ____________ of Jesus (Philippians 2:3-8)
Jesus overcame temptation by humbly _________Himself & His desires to the Father. We are to do likewise
Be humble to be diligent in Bible study & quickly seek godly counsel in order to _____ ________with God
KIDS KORNER – Parents, you are responsible to apply God’s Word to your children’s lives. Here is some help. Young Children – draw a picture about something you hear during the sermon. Explain your picture(s) to your parents at lunch. Older Children – Do one or more of the following:1) Count how many times the word “conflict” is used. 2) Talk with your parents about how you can and should respond to conflict in your own life.
THINK ABOUT IT – Questions to consider in understanding the sermon and its application. How can each of these basic truths help you to properly respond to conflict: *God created you for His own purposes. God established marriage and it works best according to His design. *Clear communication eliminates misunderstandings. Imitate the examples of Jesus and Paul and other godly people. Why was there a “sharp disagreement” between Paul & Barnabas? How could they have prevented it from becoming “sharp” even if they still went separate ways? When should an issue be so important that you must seek to “win” the conflict? When is it wrong to do that? Why did Eve eat of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good & Evil and what was the immediate effect? What dilemma did this cause for Adam? Why would Adam yield to her offer of the fruit and why was that not loving toward her. What should have done in love of God and love of Eve? Why is it necessary to go for a “win” anytime there is a temptation to sin? Why could a father “yield” in the question of whether his daughter should get married or not (1 Cor. 7)? When should you “yield” in a conflict? When is it proper to “withdraw” from a conflict? What is the difference between indifference & withdrawing? When might that happen in an unequally yoked marriage (1 Cor. 7:12-16). What determines your response to conflict? Why is sin the foundational cause of all human conflict? Why do people sin? How did Adam & Eve try to cover their sin & why did they hide from God? How have you seen the “blame game” played in your own life? How do secular counselors make this worse? How should we respond to our sin? How does pride produce conflict and make it worse? What is the solution to pride? What is the source of humility? How did Jesus model humility?
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