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Pastor Scott L. Harris
Grace Bible Church, NY
July 14, 2024
Marriage: Communication Skills 1 – Effective Transmission
Selected Scriptures
Introduction
I trust that what has been presented so far in this series of sermons on marriage has been helpful to you. It is a benefit to all to understand the foundational principles of the purpose of man’s existence and God’s purposes in establishing marriage. Understanding that God created man for His own purposes in glorifying Himself gives meaning to present life by tying it directly to eternal purposes. God made man in His image so that man would reflect God in both personhood and moral attributes. Adam’s fall into sin has distorted that image in mankind, but redemption by God’s grace through faith in Jesus Christ enables that quest to be resumed as the Holy Spirit does His work in conforming the true Christian into the image of Christ. Understanding that God placed man on the earth to be His regent that would subdue the earth and have dominion over the animals gives the proper direction to man in both the use and care of the resources of the earth for we are stewards accountable to God for what we do. That prevents both improper exploitation of the earth and the animals and falling into worship of the earth and the flora and fauna that is on it as is common among pagans and extremists. (See: God Created Man)
Everyone benefits when there is a proper understanding of God’s purposes in establishing marriage which includes the roles He designed for the husband and wife in marriage. His purposes include companionship, having a partner with whom to fulfill God’s mandates as His regents on earth, having children, having a proper and holy relationship for the expression of human sexuality which thereby avoids fornication and adultery, having a spouse with whom you can pursue love and holiness in life and thereby reflect Christ and the church. Those who are married are enabled to pursue God’s blessings that flow from following His design. Those who are not married are enabled to be wise in choosing a spouse with whom they can pursue God’s design. Both married and unmarried are enabled to encourage those who are married or are considering it to pursue God’s purposes in marriage. (See: God Established Marriage)
My purpose in this series has been to be both theological and practical. I want to help you understand God’s purposes for mankind and for marriage, and I want you to understand how to pursue those purposes in your own life. That is why this series has included sermons on the roles of both husband and wife, how to maintain the proper hedges to protect your marriage from ungodly influences, and how to pass down these great truths to your children so they will receive God’s blessings that come with following Him instead of His curses which result from disobedience to His commands whether done in ignorance or defiance. (See: Marriage: Its Purpose & Symbolism & Marriage: Maintaining the Hedges & Marriage: The Role of the Wife & Marriage: The Role of the Husband)
This morning will be the first of three sermons dealing with a topic that is extremely important to marriage. In fact it is so important that Norm Wright appropriately included it in the title to some of his books in the phrase, Communication: Key to Your Marriage. Some of the ideas that I will cover in this series of sermons have arisen from those books and similar ones on marriage or pre-marital counseling. This week the focus will be on being effective in the transmission of what you are trying to communicate. Next week will be on making sure the content of what you are trying to communicate is proper. The third sermon in the series will be on how to engage in conflict in a fair and proper way so that it will result in a blessing of growth in your relationship instead of increased antagonism and fighting. The principles we will cover apply to all relationships so everyone needs to pay attention, but these principles are especially important in marriage since the closest human relationship you can have in this life should be with your spouse.
The Power & Problem of the Tongue – Prov. 10:19; James 3:1-12
I want to begin with some material that comes from a sermon series I preached twelve years ago on Proverbs.
I do not know how anyone figured this out, but it has been reported that on an average day a person will speak between 18,000 and 30,000 words with women having a higher average than men though there are certainly exceptions to this. That is not surprising to any of us. Stereotypes often have a factual basis.
Proverbs 10:19 states, “When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, But he who restrains his lips is wise.” No wonder our mouths get us in trouble. Every culture recognizes this as expressed in this interesting poem.
“The boneless tongue, so small and weak, Can crush and kill,” declares the Greek;
“The tongue destroys a greater horde,” the Turk asserts, “Than does the Sword;”
The Persian proverb wisely saith, “A lengthy tongue – an early death!”
Or sometimes, takes the form instead, “Don’t let your tongue cut off your head;”
“The tongue can speak a word whose speed, outstrips the steeds,” say the Chinese;
The Arab sages said in part, “The tongues’ great storehouse is the heart;”
From Hebrew was the maxim sprung, “Thy feet should slip, ne’er let the tongue;”
The sacred writer crowns the whole, “Who keeps his tongue doeth keep his soul.”
James 3:1-12 succinctly describes the power and contrasting uses of the tongue. “Let not many of you become teachers, my brethren, knowing that as such we will incur a stricter judgment. For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well. Now if we put the bits into the horses’ mouths so that they will obey us, we direct their entire body as well. Look at the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires. So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell. For every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by the human race. But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter water? Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Nor can salt water produce fresh.”
While the tongue is the specific object James speaks about in this passage, it is easy to see that it is being used in reference to what the tongue does and not the object itself. The bit controls the horse, the rudder steers the ship and the ember starts the forest fire. What the tongue does is communicate ideas, thoughts and emotions through speech. As we begin to examine this topic this morning and talk about the tongue, the mouth and speech, I want you to keep it clearly in mind that the larger issues here is communication of every type and not just the one form of using the tongue to speak.
Communication
Paul makes a very relevant comment in 1 Corinthians 14:7-11 in discussing the necessity of clear speech and language in communication. “Yet even lifeless things, either flute or harp, in producing a sound, if they do not produce a distinction in the tones, how will it be known what is played on the flute or on the harp? For if the bugle produces an indistinct sound, who will prepare himself for battle? So also you, unless you utter by the tongue speech that is clear, how will it be known what is spoken? For you will be speaking into the air. There are, perhaps, a great many kinds of languages in the world, and no kind is without meaning. If then I do not know the meaning of the language, I will be to the one who speaks a barbarian, and the one who speaks will be a barbarian to me.”
Paul has given a basic explanation of communication theory. If your message is not clearly communicated and understood by the recipient, then there will be mis-communication which can result in confusion and even disaster. We all have experienced the confusion that comes in trying to communicate with someone that speaks a different language or dialect or speaks too softly or mumbles to hear and understand. Paul’s reference to flute and harp is the difference between a pleasant symphony and an irritating cacophony. The reference to the bugle is the most serious for the context of it is war. Different bugle calls were used to communicate commands to the troops over long distances and the noise of a battle. If the bugle call was not heard, the troops would not obey it. If it was indistinct, the command being given would be unclear. If you thought you heard the command to retreat but it was the command to advance to the right, the result could be a disaster causing the loss of the battle.
In order for me to communicate to you an idea, thought or emotion, the following steps must be taken. 1) I must encode the message in my mind into a language. 2) I must transmit the message to you. 3) You must receive the transmission of the message. 4) You must decode the message. Until the other person has the same thought in their mind that was in our mind, you have not successfully communicated. Both the sender and the receiver are responsible to pursue good communication for in every step there are dangers of noise and confusion that result in mis-communication. What are some of these hindrances to clear communication?
A) I might not be able to clearly encode my message into a language. If it is fuzzy in my mind then it will surely be fuzzy in your mind. My thoughts must be understandable to me before they can be understandable to you.
B) Ambiguity can make my message unclear or confusing whether it is verbal, written or visual. Things such as tone of voice or body language may not match the verbal message which results in a conflicting message. My hand writing could be illegible which is one form of ambiguity, but another is writing too cryptically by using phrases and code instead of full sentences. This later problem is a major source of mis-communication in texting and instant messaging.
C) There can be noise or interference in the transmission. Background noise could make it hard to hear or the electronic communication method such as a cell phone may cut in and out. In a series of written notes, one message could get lost or misdirected.
D) The person receiving the message may not decode the message properly due to any of the previously mentioned problems or due to being hard of hearing, having poor eyesight, or not paying close enough attention. Messages are often misunderstood because the reader only glanced at it instead of actually reading it, or listened to it while actually paying attention to something else. Multi-tasking can be good in a lot of things, but it easily becomes a hindrance to clear communication. I recall reading an article many years ago that pointed out how cell phones have become a problem in business meetings because those attending were too often trying to multi-task with them instead of paying attention to the presentation or discussion. Contracts more often went to the person who kept their phone in their pocket or turned it off. The same kind of problem has become common in education. Students don’t learn properly because they are mulit-tasking instead of paying attention to what is being taught.
E) Another factor that results in messages being misunderstood is the person receiving the message places a different meaning on the words used, tone of voice or body language. This is a common problem when the communication is in something other than your native language or dialect. It is also common for a person to read into the message transmitted their own thoughts and assumptions which then confuse the meaning intended.
Communication can be hard work, but it is well worth the effort put into it because mis-communication is a lot harder to correct and overcome. The Scriptures do not directly address the problems related to communication theory, but they have a lot to say about the even bigger issue of what is meant to be communicated. Assuming that a person has clearly encoded and transmitted his message so that it is received and decoded properly by the recipient, the message itself can run to the extremes of being either a blessing or a curse. I will address those issues in the future, but first let me give you some very practical ways to overcome some of the hindrances to clear communication. These will not eliminate all communication issues, but reducing and mitigating them quickly will save a lot of confusion and heartache as well as a lot of time.
Mitigating Mis-communication
Mitigate comes from a Latin word which means to soften, so to mitigate something is to make it less severe, reduce hostility. Mis-communication certainly increases confusion and easily creates hostility, so it is important to mitigate mis-communication. What are some practical things you can do to accomplish this and increase clear communication? I will point out some obvious things since what is obvious when it is pointed out is not always obvious in the moment. I will also make some suggestions about things that might not be as obvious. The basic scriptural principle is what I pointed out earlier from 1 Corinthians 14:7-11. You want to be clear in your communication in both its transmission and in the message that is being conveyed. I will cover the areas of encoding problems, message ambiguity, noise and interference, decoding problems and language problems.
Encoding: I will start with this caution. If you are not sure exactly what you are trying to communicate, then state that up front so that the other person will know to be cautious about taking what you say at face value and can help you try to clarify it. Similes are often used to express that. You are not sure how to describe something so you say it is similar to or like something you can describe. An example of this is John’s description in Revelation 9:7-10 of the “locusts” that came up in the smoke from the shaft of the abyss. 7 “The appearance of the locusts was like horses prepared for battle and on their heads appeared to be crowns like gold, and their faces were like the faces of men. 8 They had hair like the hair of women, and their teeth were like the teeth of lions. 9 They had breastplates like breastplates of iron; and the sound of their wings was like the sound of chariots, of many horses rushing to battle. 10 They have tails like scorpions, and stings; and in their tails is their power to hurt men for five months.” What did John see? He had no idea, but he did his best to describe them according to objects he could understand. The use of similes, metaphors and other figures of speech lets the listener or reader know that the speaker or writer is communicating what is either fuzzy in his own mind or he can’t find accurate words for it, so don’t take it to be anything more than that.
What can you do in such situations? Again, the speaker needs to state up front their difficulty in communicating what they are thinking or have experienced, and the listener needs to heed the warning and then ask questions to clarify as much as possible.
Encoding problems also occur when people are sick, very tired, not yet awake, taking certain medications or influenced by drugs or alcohol. So the first warning is don’t let your mouth run when your mind is not in gear. The second is to learn to recognize when someone is mentally impaired for whatever reason and keep that in mind when considering what has been said.
What can you do about these situations? First, avoid them. Example. Diane is a night owl and I am an early bird. We have learned not to have any serious discussion either late at night or early in the morning since in either situation one of us will not be mentally alert. Second, delay them. If you recognize the other person is mentally impaired, then graciously put off further discussion until later. Third, revisit the subject. If you can’t avoid or delay the conversation, bring the subject back up at another time when he or she is mentally alert so you can get a proper understanding of their thoughts. These same things apply to written materials sent – letters, texts, messaging, etc.
Ambiguity. While encoding problems are unintentional causes of confusion and uncertainty, ambiguity can also be done on purpose. An example of that are the word salads used by politicians and others so that they can sound good while not actually communicating anything of substance.
While there are times when ambiguity can be appropriate such as graciously trying to avoid answering a question that probably should not have been asked or you cannot yet answer in full, in general, strive to avoid it by saying what you mean and meaning what you say. Here are some examples. 1) Your child asks you do to a certain thing with him, but you’re not sure if that will fit into your schedule or tasks of things you need to get done. It is fine to be ambiguous and say, “we’ll see,” or better would be, “we can try to do that, but I can’t promise that yet.” Don’t make promises you can’t keep.
2) Ambiguity is proper when the details are not important to the point of the story – “the other day,” “sometime ago,” “many,” “few,” “someone,” etc. Listeners that want more details can simply ask.
3) When giving instructions or issuing a command, be as clear and detailed as needed. If it is bed time and the kids need to get ready and go to bed now, then give a clear command. Do not ask them if they would like to go to bed? The same is true with instructions and requests. Don’t say, “Please get dinner ready?” if what you mean is put the casserole in the refrigerator in the oven at 4 pm at 3750. Don’t ask to be picked up at the airport without also saying what airport, what day, what time, what airline and it is helpful to include the flight number.
4) Euphemisms and other figures of speech can be kind, but be prepared to state it bluntly. In John 11 Jesus used the euphemism of sleep to refer to the death of Lazarus and that He was going to Bethany to awaken him. The disciples thought Jesus meant literal sleep, so Jesus had to state it directly that Lazarus was dead.
5) Avoid riddles and other ambiguous ways of communicating unless it fits your specific purpose. In Matthew 13 Jesus specifically spoke in parables to hide the truth from the unbelieving while revealing it to the believing.
6) If you are not sure you understand what is being communicated to you, then ask direct questions in order to understand. The disciples would do this with Jesus such as in Matthew 13:36 when they asked Him to explain the parable of the tares of the field. Don’t let fear of being thought ignorant or foolish keep you from asking for clarification. Mark 9:2 records the disciples being afraid of ask Jesus about what He had been saying about going to Jerusalem to suffer, be killed and rise three days later. The result was a foolish discussion among themselves immediately afterward and resistance after Jesus’ crucifixion to believing the reports from the women that Jesus had risen from the dead (Mark 9:32).
Noise & Interference. There are many things that can interfere with the transmission of a message so that it is difficult or even impossible to understand it including background noise, the sound cutting in or out, volume, distortions, distractions, and hearing loss. Here are some solutions to several of these problems.
1) Electronic interference and failure. You will have to keep calling back when you are in better transmission areas and repeating until you are confident the message has been heard. WiFi calling for cell phones can be very helpful when you are in a WiFi environment. If volume is a problem, you may need to get an external speaker that can boost the volume and / or remove distortions.
You can also switch formats to some textual means that can be read. In saying that, be careful of speak to text, auto-fill and auto-correct features since they can be notorious for errors. While most of these can be figured out even with the errors, and some can even be funny, they still add confusion to the communication. Check before you send.
2) Distractions, such as multi-tasking as I mentioned earlier, can be a major problem. Multi-tasking includes a lot more than cell phone distractions. It is anything that you are doing that reduces your attention to what is being communicated. The greater your focus must be on the other task, the more distracted you will be from the communication. The best verbal communication will always be face to face in a quiet place with nothing going on in the background. The best written communication will be gained when in a place where your full attention can be focused on what is being read. That is why libraries are to be quiet and why study stations often have sides that stick up from the desk as blinders to what else is happening in the room. The more important the communication, the more important it is to reduce distractions or even the potential for them. There is a reason the doctor discusses your medical condition in his office or the exam room. There is a reason that a candlelight dinner is more romantic than talking on the street. There is a reason that businesses hold board meetings in a conference room instead of an active bowling alley. There is a reason that a classroom is a more effective learning environment than an arcade. You can reduce distractions by turning off the radio, the TV, the computer and the cell phone (unless that is how you are communicating). Find a quiet place and tell the kids to not interrupt you unless it is an emergency.
As important as reducing distractions is to human interaction, it also has spiritual implications. There is a reason that Jesus would seek lonely places to pray. While it is good to redeem the time and make the most of it by listening to sermons, Christian teaching or music, while driving or doing a task that takes little mental focus, you also need times when those distractions are set aside and what you are doing takes on the singular focus of communing with God. The reality is that you will need to plan for that and put it into your schedule.
Volume is not just a problem for those suffering hearing loss. A person who speaks too softly is hard to understand, so make sure you speak loudly enough to be heard and ask the other person to speak louder if you can’t hear them. This same problem occurs when the distance between you is too great. There may be times you need to shout from one room to the other, but it is better to be in the same room to talk with each other. As my hearing has declined, that has become a very important part of life for Diane and I. We go to where the other one is to talk because we value each other. When my grandfather’s hearing had become very bad, I would write notes to him so he would know what I was wanting to communicate. If our hearing declines to the point where that is needed, Diane and I have already committed to do what is needed to communicate because we value each other. Who knows, perhaps someday you might find us at a table at a restaurant texting each other because we can’t hear each other. If so, I will be glad for texting and the blue-tooth keyboard that enables me to do that quickly, effectively and with less error.
One last quick topic under this heading is legible print. If your handwriting is not legible, then your message will not be received properly. You will either need to practice writing until it is legible, or type it out, or put it into an electronic format that can be read. If you cannot read what is written, it is proper to give it back with what is unknown circled for clarification. And keep in mind that just because you can decipher your own writing, that does not mean others can.
Decoding. The problems with decoding a message begin with not actually hearing it or reading it correctly as I have just discussed under noise and interference. Decoding is the process of trying to figure out what was meant in a communication. While that begins with figuring out what words were used, it also includes the meaning of those words and the context in which they have been used.
Tone of voice and body language can cause confusion if they do not match the words being conveyed. Telling someone you are interested in what they are saying but having a body language that demonstrates indifference is sending a mixed message. The same thing is true when you tell someone you care about them but your tone of voice of harsh. The two do not go together, so which message – the verbal one or the tone of voice – is to be believed? Solving issues related to these begin with directly pointing out the problem which the other person may not even realize they are doing. “You sound harsh / upset / angry, etc., is something else bothering you?” “You seem distracted / tired, etc., would it be better to talk about this another time?”
Decoding also includes understanding the meaning of the words and grammar according to the meaning intended by the person who said or wrote them. You may need a dictionary to understand the possible meanings of the words used and you may have to clarify the intended meaning of the words used. In a conversation whether verbal or written, this can be done simply by asking them to clarify and expand on the meaning intended. A good practice is to repeat back to them in your own words what you believe they are trying to say to see if you have understood correctly. Assumptions, even reasonable ones, about what is meant, easily leads to confusion and conflict. When that happens, it time to get some help.
There is an element within Jesus’ discussion in Matthew 18:15-18 of what is commonly referred to as “church discipline” that applies here. The first step is going personally to a brother that sins to reprove him and seek to win him back. The second step is taken if the brother refuses the correction and continues in sin. You then “take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact (word) may be confirmed.” While mis-communication is not itself sin, the process described here will help clear it up. It begins by going personally to try to get clarification. That might happen throughout the course of the conversation, or it could be something you do later as you think about it. If there is still confusion and perhaps conflict over it, then take a couple of people with you to see if they can understand what has been communicated and help you to understand it. There are many times I have been involved in this second step in a church discipline action and found the actual problem was a misunderstanding. Once that was cleared up, the problem also was resolved. What is true in a serious communication failure is also true in minor ones. Sometimes it helps to have a mediator to help with the communication between two or more people. That is often the role I play in counseling. All I end up doing in the end is help the two in conflict to communicate effectively.
Language. Speaking different languages has been a problem in communication ever since God confused the languages and forced the people at the Tower of Babel to disperse (Gen. 11). A good translator is the solution to this, but keep in mind that there is always something lost in translation. A long term solution if interacting with another language a lot is to learn that language so that you will be your own translator. Language reflects a mental thought process and culture, so even if you do not become fluent in it, you will have a greater understanding of it from what you do learn.
Related to this are dialects. It is the same language, but different in accent, pronunciation and slang so that you may not even recognize what is being said. There are few solutions to this. 1) Have them write down what they are trying to say so that you will know what words are being used. You may have to have to ask for clarification for the meaning of slang. 2) You may need to have someone that understands that dialect translate it into your own dialect. 3) In order to reduce the problems caused by this, go through speech therapy to remove the more extreme aspects of your dialect so that you can more effectively communicate to the wider range of dialects within that same language group.
Conclusions
Communication is the key to marriage. It is also key to all relationships. It can be hard work to be clear and effective in your communication, but it is well worth the effort since that brings understanding and reduces the confusion and hurt of mis-communication. Learn to mitigate the many problems that easily arise in communication and you will find that you will be blessed and you will bless others.
The most important communication we have received is God’s message to us in the Scriptures. He had it written down so that we can consider it carefully, so put the time and effort into understanding it.
Sermon Notes – July 14, 2024
Marriage: Communication Skills 1 – Effective Transmission
Introduction
Understanding God’s purposes for creating man ___________ everyone who will pay attention to them
A proper understanding of God’s purposes for marriage helps the married & unmarried in pursue His _____
The purpose of the sermon series on marriage has been both theological & ________in pursuit of His design
The Power & Problem of the Tongue – Prov. 10:19; James 3:1-12
Proverbs 10:19 & equivalents
James 3:1-12 – The tongue (what is communicated) can bless or ___________, so be careful with it
Communication
1 Corinthians 14:7-11 – __________ language is confusing and could be disastrous
Communication requires encoding, transmission, reception and decoding
Encoding – your thoughts must be understandable to _____ before they can be understood by ________
Ambiguity – an unclear message or one with multiple possible meanings is __________
Noise & interference – _________ or blocks the message from being understood properly
Decoding – requires receiving the message properly and understanding it as __________
The hard _______of good communication it is well worth the effort because failure causes confusion & hurt
Mitigating Mis-communication
Mitigate – to _________, make less severe, reduce hostility
Seek to be clear and understandable in your communication and ___________the problems of doing so
– Encoding: State up front if you are ______________exactly what you are trying to communicate – Similes
Recognize that sickness, fatigue, drowsiness, medications, drugs & alcohol can cause _________impairment
___________ or delay such situations if you can. Revisit the conversation later if you can’t
– Ambiguity: This can be unintentional or intentional
___________ ambiguity can be proper when you don’t know yet or the details are unimportant
Instructions & commands should be as ________as possible with as many details as needed
Euphemisms & other figures of speech can be kind, but be prepared to state it ___________- John 11
Avoid riddles and other ambiguous ways of communicating unless it fits your specific ________- Matt. 13
If you do not understand, ___for clarification (Matt. 13:36). Do not let fear stop you from doing so (Mk 9:32
– Noise & Interference: background noise, intermittent sound, volume, distortions, distractions, hearing loss
______________interference & failure: call back, better transmission area, WiFi calling, external speakers
Switch to _________formats – but be careful of speak to text, auto-fill and auto-correct features
Distractions: Anything that you are doing that ___________your attention to what is being communicated
The more _________the communication, the more important it is to reduce distractions & potential for them
Apply these principles in your communication with __________ : Reading, study, prayer, etc.
__________ issues: Speak louder, get closer, get hearing aids, write it out
___________ : practice to be legible, type it out, send in a textual format
– Decoding: Trying to figure out what was ___________in a communication – word definitions & grammar
Tone of voice & body language should ___________the words – if it does not, point it out & ask questions
Use a _______________, ask for clarification, repeat back in your own words what you understood
Matthew 18:15-16 – get a ___________to help
– Language: God confused the languages and force dispersal at the Tower of __________(Gen. 11)
A good _____________, learn the other language
Dialects – write it out, use a translator, get _____________________
Conclusions
Communication is the __________to marriage and all relationships
It is __________the effort to become clear & effective in communication and mitigate the problems
The most important communication we have received is from God in His word – ___________it carefully
KIDS KORNER
Parents, you are responsible to apply God’s Word to your children’s lives. Here is some help. Young Children – draw a picture about something you hear during the sermon. Explain your picture(s) to your parents at lunch. Older Children – Do one or more of the following: 1) Write down all the verses mentioned in the sermon and look them up later. 2) Count how many times “communication” is mentioned in the sermon. Talk with your parents about how you can become better at communicating with them and others.
THINK ABOUT IT!
Questions to consider in discussing the sermon with others. How as the sermons series on marriage helped you so far? Why did God create man? What are God’s purposes in marriage? What role has He given to the husband? To the wife? To the parents? Why is the human tongue so dangerous? What measure to you take to restrict your own speaking? How does Paul’s comment in 1 Corinthians 14:7-11 match the concept of communication theory? Explain briefly communication theory. What kinds of problems can there be in trying to encode a message and how can those problems be mitigated? When it is proper to be ambiguous and when should you be very clear and direct? What about the use of simile, metaphor, euphemisms and other figures of speech? How can you mitigate the problems of ambiguous speech? What kinds of problems can develop with electronic communication devises? How can you mitigate those problems? What are some of the causes of distractions that disrupt / hinder clear communication? How can you mitigate these distractions? When is it okay to multi-task and when should that be avoided? How can you mitigate the problem of volume in communication? What if you are becoming hard of hearing? What is decoding and what can cause problems in decoding? What can be done to mitigate these problems? What effect can tone of voice and body language have on a message? What principle can be taken from Matthew 18:15-16 and applied to decoding problems? How can you mitigate a language or dialect barrier with someone / others? Why is “communication key to your marriage?” How would you rate your communication with your spouse / others? How can it be improved? Are you willing to do the hard work to achieve good communication with your spouse / others? What is the most important communication mankind has ever received?
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