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Pastor Scott L. Harris
Grace Bible Church, NY
October 13, 2024
◘Marriage: Finding a Godly Spouse
Selected Scriptures
Introduction
We are nearly at the end of this sermon series on marriage, but today the focus will be on those who are single. It needs to be stated up front that not every single wants to get married for a variety of reasons. Therefore, the first portion of this sermon will address them by taking a quick look at the dangers and advantages of singleness as well as the importance of learning contentment. The next portion will be focused on those who do want to get married and answering some simple questions that can have some complex answers such as What should you look for in a spouse? And How to find a godly spouse? These are also important topics for those who are already married since you can expect to get questions from singles about marriage and you need to be sure you are giving godly advice and not just something based your own experiences. Those of you with children have a responsibility to guide them in finding a godly spouse.
◘Advantages of Singleness
There is often pressure put on single adults that is neither balanced nor right based on the idea that single adults are missing out and life is incomplete unless you are married. ◘While marriage is normal for adults, especially among Christians, that does not make singleness abnormal. All married adults spent time as single adults and will do so again unless the couple dies at the same time. And while most adults prefer marriage, that does not make being single inferior or incomplete. Being single can have a lot of advantages if you will make use of them.
Diane and I were both 29 when we married, so we spent more than a decade as single adults. Even after marriage we specifically ministered in a singles ministry for a couple of years as one of my responsibilities as an associate pastor. As a Senior Pastor, I have also had a lot of interaction with singles over the decades. While I am a bit of a romantic and advocate marriage, I am also a strong advocate for singles to rejoice in their current situation of life and take full advantage of the greater opportunities that exist if you will use them.
It may sound a bit ludicrous to some to say that it is advantageous to be single given the many pressures placed on singles to pair up and get married and especially in the Christian community. ◘These would include external pressures such as friends that want you to experience the joy they have in being married so they keep trying to set you up on dates, and perhaps parents that want grandchildren and you are the means to that end. There are also internal pressures such as not wanting to be left out of social functions, or not wanting to be thought of as somehow odd or immature, or sexual tension made worse in a sex saturated society such as ours which promotes the lie that you must be sexually active to be complete / fulfilled / happy.
◘ What are the advantages of being single? Turn over to 1 Cor. 7 where Paul specifically addresses the confusion they had about this issue. (I am only going to examine the portions of this passage that deal with singleness. I will examine the rest of the passage next week). Paul begins, 1 “Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman.” He is referring to sexual intimacy, not shaking hands or giving a platonic hug. This is specific to being single, for his instructions in verses 2-6 is the opposite. 2 “But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband.” In verse 9 he adds to this, 9 “But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” That is not the best reason for marriage, but it is legitimate. Verses 3-6 deal with marriage so drop down to verse 7-8.
◘ 7 “Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that. 8 But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I.” Here and throughout the chapter Paul advocates the advantages he has found in being single. Note that Paul refers to being either single or married as a gift from God. Note as well that it would have been very unusual for a Pharisee such as Paul not to have been married, but there is no reference to such a wife, so if he had been married, it is unknown what happened to her – death? left him? Verses 10-16 deal with issues in marriage including separation and being unequally yoked.
◘ Verses 17-24 deal with issues of being content in the condition in which God called you, which by inference also includes either being married or unmarried. Contentment is an important characteristic to develop while single or you will bring discontentment into marriage as a burden upon your spouse. Contentment in being single (or any other condition) comes from growing in your knowledge and understanding of God and learning to trust Him. As Paul states in Philippians 4:11, it is something you learn. If you are discontent, the solution lies in greater knowledge of God so that you have greater trust in Him rather than quickly finding a spouse as a supposed solution. Contentment is a godly characteristic that transcends marriage status – and all other circumstances of life.
◘ If you are discontent being single, consider Psalm 84:11–12, 11 “For the LORD God is a sun and shield; The LORD gives grace and glory; No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly. 12 O LORD of hosts, How blessed is the man who trusts in You!” God does not withhold from those who walk uprightly. If you think marriage would be better for you, then the place to start is pursuing personal holiness and serving the Lord, and then watch how God brings you what is good. Of course, as you increase in godliness, the desperation to be married may also diminish or even disappear.
◘ In verses 25-40 Paul addresses issues related to the unmarried getting married. He again expresses his advocation of the advantages of singleness. Some of these advantages were specifically due to a rising persecution they were experiencing – “the present distress” (vs 26). Let me summarize these advantages of singleness.
◘ vs. 25-35. It is good to be single in times of distress / persecution, but it would not be wrong to marry. The unmarried would be spared from some trouble (vs. 28) and freed them some concerns which are explained in verses 32-35. ◘These include *Not needing to please a husband / wife (vs. 33-34). *Not being concerned about the things of this world (vs. 33-34) or *having divided interests (vs. 34). *Not being distracted from devotion to the Lord (vs. 34). ◘The unmarried are free to have greater concern about *The things of the Lord (vs 32, 34), *Pleasing the Lord (vs. 32), *Pursuing holiness in body and spirit (vs. 34), *Doing what is appropriate (vs. 35), and *Being undistracted in devotion to the Lord (vs. 35).
◘ vs. 36-40. Paul deals with specifics of a father toward his daughter in marriage and widows in getting remarried. The dad does not sin to let his daughter marry (vs. 36) and does well in giving her in marriage (vs. 36-37), but in Paul’s opinion, he does better if he keeps his daughter unmarried (vs. 37-38). A widows is free to remarry if she wishes as long as it is in the Lord (vs. 39). ◘Paul thinks the widow will be happier if she remains unmarried (vs. 40). Again this related to a “present distress” because in 1 Timothy 5:14 he instructs“younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house, and give the enemy no occasion for reproach.”
Being single can and should be a blessing, not a curse. However, it is not a gift for everyone for others have a different gift (a husband or wife), and the “gift” of singleness may only be for a season. ◘The main advantage of being single is the greater service and devotion to the Lord that it allows, so a person with this “gift,” should exhibit it in that manner in some way. If that is not true, then either it needs to become true as the advantages of singleness are pursued, or there needs to be a more serious quest to get married, which will require some soul searching, some maturing, and some diligence in pursuit of it for it to be fulfilled. Consider that God may even be withholding marriage from you so that you will grow spiritually and not make someone else’s life miserable.
Books and recordings of Elizabeth Elliot can be very encouraging since she had to deal with being single several different times. Her hoped for marriage did not materialize, it was years before she did get married, and then she was widowed with a baby. She remarried thirteen years later, but he soon became sick, wasted away and died leaving her a widow again for many years.
Take advantage of being single by embracing the life you have now instead of pining to be married as if your life will not start until then. Do not project into the future in such as way that it hinders you in the present. ◘Consider the opportunities that you can pursue in the present because you are not married which can include greater time in devotion and worship of God, serious study of the Scriptures, serving the Lord even in places you would not want to risk taking a spouse. Being single can be lonely, but that can be overcome by developing close friendships, which is also a foundational skill for marriage.
◘Reasons for Marriage
All that being said about the advantages of being single, the vast majority of Christian singles will want to get married for a variety of reasons many of which I have mentioned in the course of this series of sermons on marriage. Before I get to how to look for and find a spouse that would be a blessing to your life and any children you have together, I want to briefly mention some very bad reasons people get married. This list comes from the Before You Say, “I Do’” Workbook, but I have known examples of every one of these.
◘Poor to Tragic Reasons People get Married
a. To spite or get back at your parents
b. Because of a negative self-image – marrying your fiancé will make you feel worthwhile and will give meaning to your life.
c. To be a therapist or counselor to your fiancé (Rescue / hero syndrome)
d. Fear of being left out! Being left as a bachelor or an old maid!
e. Fear of independence
◘f. Marrying on the rebound – you were hurt in a former romantic relationship and to ease your hurt you immediately choose another
g. Fear of hurting the other person – you’re afraid of what will happen to your fiancé if you break up even though you know that this would not be a good marriage.
h. To escape an unhappy home
i. Because you or your fiancé is pregnant
j. Because you have had sex
◘ If your reasons for wanting to get married are poor, it is almost guaranteed that you will end of with a poor to tragic marriage. Likewise, if what you are looking for in a spouse does not match what God states are the characteristics of a godly spouse, then unless the Holy Spirit intervenes, you will also end up with a poor to tragic marriage. You don’t want a marriage in which any of these quips would apply. “Marriage occurs when cupidity meets stupidity.” “Marriage is a partnership in which two people agree to change each other’s habits.” “Marriage is the world’s most expensive way of discovering your faults.” Abraham Lincoln is reported to have said that “marriage is neither heaven, nor hell; it is simply purgatory.”
◘ What then are some proper reasons to get married?
a. Removes the “not good” of loneliness by having a lifelong companion (Genesis 2:18).
b. To fulfill God’s command to “be fruitful and multiply” and raise up godly offspring. (Psalm 128; Deuteronomy 6:4-7)
c. To obtain favor from the Lord (Prov. 18:22; 19:14)
◘d. As stated in 1 Cor 7:2 & 9, Heb. 13:4 – to avoid immorality
e. According to Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, To obtain a better return for labor, To have a companion that can lift you up if you fall, to stay warm, to better resist adversaries
f. To have a life long partner in life with someone you can enjoy and rejoice in its blessing. Eccl. 9:9 states this is a reward in life.
◘g. As both husband and wife fulfill their respective God given roles, the marriage is fulfilling and brings godly success. The husband sacrificially loves his wife leading her to holiness, providing for her, protecting her. The wife respects her husband, and her work at home and as his “helpmeet” enables him to be successful outside the home (Gen. 2:18; Eph. 5:22-33; Prov. 31:10-31)
h. To glorify God since Eph. 5:31-32 states that marriage is a mystery that refers to Christ and the church
◘What to Look for in a Potential Spouse
The only actual requirement for a Christian in looking for a potential spouse is that he or she is also a true Christian for believers are to marry “only in the Lord,” and are to “not be bound together with an unbeliever” (1 Cor. 7:39; 2 Cor. 6:14-16). ◘So called “evangelistic dating” is extremely dangerous for unless the unbeliever becomes a Christian early in the relationship, for developing a romantic relationship with an unbeliever will result in either heartache for both when the relationship must end, or a false profession of faith to keep the relationship going which will have very negative consequences after marriage, or rebelling against the command not to be unequally yoked which is a cause for church discipline.
◘ What to look for beyond being a true Christian is a matter of godly wisdom. In brief, you are looking for direction, not perfection. The perfect person does not exist. The knight in shining armor will have a coating of dirt and be splattered with mud and he may not be able to wield his weapons very well yet. If you are looking for a “trophy wife,” remember that trophies are only good for display which makes for a terrible helpmeet. ◘You should seek someone with enough maturity in ability, character, godliness and social graces to enable the marriage to work according to God’s design and also shows active pursuit of continuing to mature. Let’s look at some of the specifics of such maturity for a potential husband or wife.
◘ Women: Here are some specifics of what women should look for in a man. First, a character that already is or is clearly developing into the qualities listed in Psalm 15 of the man that is abiding with God. ◘He is a man of integrity, righteousness and truthfulness (vs. 2). Integrity encompasses a character that is decent, moral, honest, honorable & respectable such as Noah, Job and David. Righteousness is the natural outgrowth of walking in integrity. He reflects God’s character in doing what is right and just. He speaks truth because it arises from his heart and not something forced upon him.
◘ He is a man who avoids the sins of slandering with his tongue, doing evil to a neighbor or taking up a reproach against his friend (vs. 3). Slander is anything said to maliciously tear down the character and reputation of someone else. It is a characteristic of the wicked and the opposite of a true worshiper of God. Not only does he avoid slander, he will not tolerate slander of his friend. Truth ends slander and he is someone that speaks truth from the heart. Doing evil is the opposite of working righteousness. Actions revel character.
◘ He is a man that is discerning and steadfast (vs. 4). He recognizes the reprobate, those with vile character, viewing them with contempt while at the same time recognizing those with godly character whom he honors. His integrity compels him to keep his word even when the promise may cause him financial loss or personal difficulty.
◘ He is a man who is ethical in his finances (vs. 5). He is charitable to meet the needs of others instead of taking advantage of them to make loans with interest. He will not receive a bribe,
◘ These qualities together give him the ability to be steadfast instead of shaken by the circumstances that come upon him (vs. 6). His faith holds because it is built on the rock of Jesus Christ. That in turn enables him to be courageous when facing danger. (See: The Man Who Worships God – Psalm 15)
◘ Ladies, you also want a man that demonstrates he will be able to fulfill the roles God has set for him as a husband as set forth in Eph. 5:23-33. Does he sacrificially love you in the pursuit of your holiness? Does he lead you in a godly path? Can he provide for your care? Does he cherish you as he does himself? Does he seek to communicate well with you to understand your perspective, pray for you, and honor you as a fellow heir of the grace of life (1 Peter 3:7).
◘ Again, while you are not looking for perfection, don’t settle for a man who is selfish, lazy, won’t lead or is of low character. Communication with him may take some work, but it should be pleasant and desired. Consider God’s descriptions of the godly man and look for one. And men, if you want to attract a godly woman, then pursue being a godly man.
◘ Men: Here are some specifics that men should look for in a potential wife. First a godly character as described in 1 Peter 3:1-6. She has chaste and respectful behavior including modesty in demeanor and dress. Avoid women that are boisterous, dress provocatively, and are fully of silly talk. She may be a 10 physically, but she is a 1 in character. Ladies, if you don’t know what it means to be modest in dress, pick up the pamphlet on it in the foyer.
◘ Second, look for a woman that will follow you where you are seeking to go and help you achieve what you believe the Lord wants you to do with your life. That of course means you need to have a good idea of where you want to go and what you want to achieve. While the Lord will direct your steps, you are supposed to be planning your path (Proverbs 16:9). ◘How can you know she will follow you if you don’t know where you are going. How can you know she has the abilities to help you achieve your goals in life if you don’t know what they are? ◘Ladies, if he does not have goals and a plan, then wait until he does or keep looking for someone else. You need to know where he is going before you can decide if you want to go with him. Ask him about his priorities and goals in life.
◘ Third, consider Proverbs 31:10-31. Again, you are looking for direction here, not perfection, because this was an exceptional wife in specifics of what she did, but her character can be emulated by a godly woman. Look for woman that desires to develop to the best of her ability the characteristics of this excellent wife. ◘She was trustworthy, continually good, ◘industrious, prudent, diligent, entrepreneurial, strong, attentive, a hard worker, compassionate, confident, elegant, admirable, a capitalist, dignified, wise, watchful and godly which is why she was honored, respected and acclaimed. Ladies, if you want to get the attention of a godly man, then strive to be godly. (See: The Excellent Wife)
The many sermons in this series on marriage will be helpful in bringing in more details about what to look for in a potential godly spouse, but more importantly, they will help you have a better idea of what God wants you to be and skills you need to develop so that you can be a godly spouse. ◘ Godly people will attract godly people. Those who use ungodly means to attract someone of the opposite sex should not be surprised when they attract someone ungodly (See: Marriage Series)
◘How to Find a Godly Spouse
Now that you have some basic ideas about what to look for in a potential spouse, the question arises of how you find such a person. I will start off with two very simple truths. ◘First, Proverbs 18:22, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing And obtains favor from Yahweh.” In order to find something you have to be looking for it, so this will take some work on your part. Second, Proverbs 19:14, “House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, But a wife who has insight is from Yahweh,” and Matthew 19:5–6, 5 “and [Jesus] said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” God is also at work in your finding a spouse, so be sure that your search begins with prayer to find a godly one.
◘ Dating has been the common practice in the United States for around 100 years. Its popularity took off with the combination of ease of transportation provided by the car and the decline in the social practice of an unmarried couple having a chaperone with them so that the couple would be prevented from being alone. It has a fundamental assumption that the dating couple will be able to decide by themselves if they would make good marriage partners with little to no input by others. Whatever the initial spark of attraction, the flame of interest is built by doing enjoyable activities together. The most common date is a meal and some form of entertainment. The most common factor in deciding to marry becomes continued romantic interest.
◘ My acronym for DATE is Deceptive Attraction Too Emotional. It is not a practice that is good preparation for marriage. Its most obvious physical danger is going too far physically and its many complications from STD’s to single motherhood. Emotional dangers come from break ups caused by the reality that having fun with someone is not the same as daily life with someone or that the other person just wanted to have fun and never wanted to be serious. Too often dating is playing a game with someone else’s heart. Social dangers arise from the changes in group dynamics as a couple “pairs off.” This includes not just rivalry within the group, but also the couple removing themselves from those that could have been helpful and the isolation after a break-up. Mental dangers arise from the artificial nature of dating. People present their best sides and try to hide the flaws while also avoiding conflicts if possible. Serious issues are also often avoided for this reason. Dating concentrates on fun activities with few or none of the more unpleasant and service activities of real life. Spiritual dangers include immature believers forsaking the pursuit of godliness in the pursuit of the date / romantic interest with sin speeding the decline.
◘ The better way is to get to know those of the opposite sex is in group settings and especially in more serious contexts such as a Bible study in which important issues are discussed so you know what they are thinking and in service projects so you know their character under stress. Become godly friends with those in the group. When there is a friendship and enough is known about the character of the other person that you recognize the potential for a good marriage partner, you escalate the quest with intentional dating also known as courtship. ◘For the guy this means taking the risk to let the girl know that he is interested in her and asking for the opportunity to get to know her better. If she has a good relationship with her father, then the man should also seek the permission of the girl’s father to court her. This is primarily a protection for her. Dad can turn the young man away without her having to give any excuses. Let me quickly add here that the man should not do this until he is in a position in which he can reasonable expect to support a wife at the present time or near future. If he cannot, then he needs to be occupied with other activities that can get himself into that position. You can live cheap, but not on love.
◘ Her response would depend on whether she has an interest and would like to pursue finding out if he is a potential husband. She can direct him to speak to her father as both a layer of protection and getting her family involved. The intentional mindset will quickly direct the conversations with each other. On my first date with Diane she quizzed me for most of the time about my interests, goals for the future and personal life including my devotional habits. Since I asked her out because I had observed her character for some time and was interested in her, after that interrogation I figured she was also interested, so I told her while taking her home that I was interested in a relationship that could lead to marriage, and if she ever concluded that she couldn’t marry me, then just let me know. That was not the best way to express my intentions, but it did let her know that my intentions were honorable.
◘ Intentional dating, courtship, includes interaction with family and friends in order to gain their wise counsel as the relationship progresses. It will also include activities in which character can be displayed. For the Christian, that will include doing ministry activities together. Work together doing common chores and service projects for others. You want to know the character of the person as much as possible before you say, “I do,” at the wedding.
◘ Since it can be very hard to find or be part of a group in which you can find a potential spouse, online dating is an option. I have known quite a few couples with very good marriages that have met this way, but there are also a lot of dangers because of the predators out there. ◘The same principles apply regardless of how you initially met. Be intentional, involve family and friends to get their insights, strive to find out as much as possible about their true character before yielding your heart where emotions may override both godly counsel and common sense.
◘ How will you know this is the person you should marry? While the world will stress all sort of emotional indicators expressed in different ways, emotions easily change and the person you feel you can’t live without today is the person you can’t stand to be near tomorrow. Here are some better, more concrete indicators.
◘ First, the greater your confidence that your intended is indeed a godly person with the character qualities that have been described, the greater your confidence this is a good person to marry and the less anxiety there should be because of what may still be unknown.
◘ Second, for the man, you are a better and more godly man because of her involvement in your life, and you would have no reservations in laying down your life for her if you had to do so. Or a similar commitment not quite so dramatic – you will gladly entrust her with your all your worldly possessions – and that is part of the typical wedding vows.
◘ Third, for the woman, you are a better and more godly woman because of his involvement in your life. You are willing to entrust your life to him – because that is what you will be doing in getting married.
◘ Fourth, the two of you together are better able to serve the Lord than the sum of both of you apart. Or to state it another way, your relationship is synergistic in godliness and service to Christ.
Godly people will be able to develop a godly marriage in which true love will grow and deepen over the years so that it will indeed become a reflection of Christ and the church.
One final thought. If you did not start off well and / or have a marriage that is not function according to God’s design of being a blessing to each other and beyond, remember that the God of the Bible is a redeemer. He takes joy in bringing sinners to repentance, faith, salvation and adoption into His family. He wants to radically change you and your marriage into something that will glorify Him. Go back through the sermons in this series to learn His design for marriage and how He can make the needed changes.
Some Resources
Book: A Single Thought by Allen Hadidian, 1981 (You may still be able to find a used copy)
Sermons: Singles Seminar, Marriage Series
Elizabeth Elliot books / recordings
Passion and Purity (on / off / on courtship with Jim Elliot)
Through the Gates of Splendor (how she became a widow)
Loneliness (dealing with being a widow)
www.elizabethelliot.org
Sermon Notes – 10/13/2024
Marriage: Finding a Godly Spouse – Selected Scriptures
Introduction
Advantages of Singleness
While marriage is normal for Christian adults, that does not make __________________ abnormal
There are many pressures on singles to marry both external and ____________
1 Cor. 7:1-2; 9 – It is ________for a man not to touch a woman, but better to marry than burn with passion
1 Cor. 7:7-8 – Paul advocates singleness, but both singleness and marriage are a _________from God
1 Cor. 7:17-24 – learn to be ____________ in whatever situation you are in (Phil. 4:11)
The key to overcoming discontentment is knowing _____________to trust Him & submit to His will as best
1 Cor. 7:25-40 – Paul advocates singleness in part because of troubles & concerns about a “present ______”
1 Cor. 7:25-35 – Unmarried spared from some ______and concern about certain things common to marriage
1 Cor. 7:32-35 – The unmarried are _________to have greater concern about certain things
1 Cor. 36-40 – Paul deals with specifics of a father toward an unmarried daughter and widows remarrying
Singleness recommended for widows due to “present distress” for ___________recommended in 1 Tim 5:14
The main advantage of being single is the _______service & devotion to the Lord, so take advantage of that
Consider the ________________singleness allows and pursue them
Reasons for Marriage
Don’t get married for poor or wrong _____________
Getting married for poor or wrong reasons will nearly always result in a _____________________marriage
There are many good reasons to get _____________
What to Look for in a Potential Spouse
A Christian is required to marry a ________________ – 1 Cor. 7:39; 2 Cor. 6:14-16
“Evangelistic dating” is very ______________- resulting in heartache or rebellion against God’s stated will
____________must be applied in finding a godly spouse – and you are looking for direction, not perfection
Seek someone with enough ____________to enable the marriage to work according to God’s design
Women – look for a man with the qualities listed in ________________ – a man who is abiding with God
A man of integrity, righteousness and _______________(vs. 2)
A man of who avoids slandering, doing evil or taking up a reproach of a friend (vs. 3)
A man ____________between the reprobate and the godly and who keeps his promises
A man ___________in his finances being charitable instead of exploitive and cannot be bribed
A man whose faith proves him to be _____________by circumstances
A man able to ___________his responsibilities and role as a husband – Eph. 5:23-22; 1 Peter 5:7
Don’t settle for a man who is selfish, lazy, won’t lead or is of low character. ________for a godly man
Men – seek out a woman of godly character – 1 Peter 3:1-6 – chaste, respectful, _______in demeanor & dress
A woman that will follow & ____________you in where you want to go & what you want to achieve
Ladies, if he does not have ___________________, then wait until he does or keep waiting for someone else
A woman seeking to emulate the godly character of the ___________ wife: Trustworthy, Continually Good,
Industrious, _____________, Diligent, Entrepreneurial, Strong, Attentive, a Hard Worker, Compassionate,
Confident, Elegant, Admirable, a Capitalist, Dignified, __________, Watchful and Godly
which is why she was Honored, _______________and Acclaimed
Godly people attract __________people – if you used ungodly methods, you will attract ungodly people
How to Find a Godly Spouse
You have to actively look in order to find (Prov. 18:22), & ____for God’s provision (Prov. 19:4; Matt 19:6)
“Dating” is relatively ______- initial romantic attraction leads to a couple isolating to do enjoyable activities
DATE: Deceptive Attraction Too Emotional – has Physical, emotional, social, mental & spiritual ________
Get to know others in _______settings, & when prepared & a potential spouse identified, then be intentional
The man takes the risk to express ____________, intention and ask permission to pursue the relationship
The woman’s response will depend on her interest & intention after ____________(esp. from godly parents)
_____________dating (courtship) involves family & friends for wise counsel & activities to reveal character
____________is an option, but it poses its own risks
The same principles apply regardless of how you ___________________:
Be intentional; involve family & friends; strive to discover the ________character before yielding your heart
Greater confidence he / she is _______________, the greater the confidence in the choice to marry him / her
You are a better man / woman because of her / his ______________in your life
KIDS KORNER
Young Children – draw a picture about something you hear during the sermon. Explain your picture(s) to your parents at lunch. Older Children – Do one or more of the following: 1) Count how many times the word “spouse” is said. 2) Discuss with your parents how they met and how God worked in their lives to be married
THINK ABOUT IT – Questions to consider in understanding the sermon and its application.
How has this series of sermon on marriage been helpful to you? What pressures did you (do you) experience to get married? What advantages to being single does Paul point out in 1 Corinthians 7? Which were related to the “present distress” and which are general? In light of 1 Cor. 7, how should a single view their situation and what actions should they take? What are some of the poor reasons people get married? Have you known people who are examples of that? What are some of the good Biblical reasons for marriage? What requirement is there for a Christian who is looking for a spouse? What general characteristics should a woman be looking for in a man before considering marriage to him? What specific characteristics? What should she avoid? What general characteristics should a man be looking for in a woman before considering marriage to her? What specific characteristics? What is dating? What are its dangers physically, emotionally, socially, mentally, spiritually? What are some better ways for a man and woman to get to know each other without those dangers? What position in life should a man be in before seeking a wife? When should he begin intentional dating (courtship)? When should a woman be open to intentional dating? What role do family and friends have when a couple is intentionally dating? What indications would enable a couple to know that marriage would be good and godly?
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